Contravening Silence older version
by another moment gone
Summary: older-version.Does she even talk?" The blond asked incredulously. "Why does it matter?" The raven haired beauty snapped. "Because for the weeks she's been here, I've never heard her utter one word..." AU. -J.H.Q.S.316 *R&R* Surprise pairings.
1. Chapter 1: voices in my head

C o n t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 1: **voices in my head

Staring blankly at her brand new-_please-talk-for-me-_flats, she let her mind flap back like an elastic waistband. No thinking freely.

"Come on, honey. We're going." Kendra Block shouted from downstairs, her voice echoing faintly in the brunette's ears.

Obviously not expecting a response.

Pulling herself off the hard wooden floors, she dragged her feet to the outside car. Preparing herself for a long ride to her new living place: _Westchester, New York._

Not a home.

She sat on the comfy leather seat of the Range Rover with her ear buds in tact as she listened; mouthing the lyrics as they drove in silence.

_Ah. Silence_.

* * *

:::-:::

"We're here Massie." Kendra said cheerily as she hopped out of the car, grabbing a few belongings along with her as she bounced happily into the large mansion of a house.

Moving slowly, Massie plucked her head phones from her head and wrapped it around her _i-love-you-no-matter-what-_iPod gift. Sliding out of the car with exaggerated slowness, she took her time walking into the large house; already knowing where her room was.

She chose the room that had one single window. The room had a long walk-in closet where she could place her very large enough wardrobe, and a decent size carpeted bathroom. The various shadings of purple was just another bonus to the perfect room. Immediately when Massie had pointed to the picture of a sketch of the house's rooms, clearly saying she wanted that one—Kendra obliged.

Purple comforter and everything else in place—thanks to the movers—she sat on her bed and stared out the window. The clouds of gray were hurling unto the usual cheery blue sky, was now becoming an ominous dark gray cloudy, sky. Massie liked it that way.

"I'm going to the market to buy some new soap and stuff, would you like to come, Massie?" Kendra offered, her eyes hopeful and bright for the first time in a long time.

Massie shook her head no, gesturing to the porch—another sign saying she'd be on the porch reading or listening to music. Kendra nodded, understand perfectly, and picked up her keys and drove away.

Carefully picking up her cell-phone and iPod and book, _Harry Potter And The Deathly Hollows_, and made her way out to the porch. Sitting gracefully on the cushioned swinging bench, her eyes glazed over the sentences as she plugged in her ear buds and listened to the songs. She made sure her phone was on vibrate: _always_.

* * *

:::-:::

Time passed by, and by the time she lifted her head up to check the time on her phone's clock, a sound of a car door slamming was heard. Alert at once, she unplugged a head phone and lifted her head up searching for the source of the noise.

It was Kendra. _Relief_.

"Hi, honey. How's the book?" Kendra asked as she carried a couple of bags by Massie. Massie ran inside abruptly to grab the board.

Steadily picking it up, she ran back towards the kitchen where her Mother was putting away the groceries and stuff. Taking out the pen from the holder on the board, she began scribbling frantically. Full of unspoken words.

She lifted the board from the marble counter and turned it so Kendra could read it.

Massie's legible handwriting read:

_**Actually, it's really good. Snape just died. **_

Kendra smiled, "That's too bad. I liked Snape."

Taking back the board and using an eraser, she erased her previous message and wrote a new one.

_**Me too.**_

"Have you met any of our neighbors yet?" Kendra asked as she began putting away the food and preparing the oven for cooking.

_**No, why? **_

Kendra read silently, always.

"They're very nice, actually. They're coming over for dinner tomorrow night," Kendra looked excited as she began enthusiastically talking now—Massie hadn't seen her act that way in so very long. "I don't even know what to cook them yet!—They have a son named Derrick—he's your age and a cutie—" She winked, jokingly. "And a daughter your age also, named Claire Lyons. She's such a sweetie. You two will be the _best _of friends; I know it!"

Feeling the urge to roll her eyes but not wanting to displease her for _once _happy mother, she forced a smile and picked up her board and belongings as she marched to her room. Putting her stuff in a small bag she had, she placed the white-board in—along with white-board marker, and eraser—her iPod, and her cell-phone, she slung the bag over her shoulder and ran down the long stairs.

Endless it felt.

Cursing herself for putting away her board, she picked it out eagerly and wrote speedily.

_**I'm going outside. Fresh air; I'll text you if I need you.**_

Kendra nodded after she read, and went back to cooking and humming to herself. Massie wondered always if Kendra ever felt lonely without a spouse. Massie felt lonely.

Walking out the door, she put away her white-board away and walked along the vacant street. It wasn't very dark; nearly twilight. Not sure where she was going, she kept walking.

"Hi! I'm Kristen Gregory. Are you Massie Block?" A dirty blond haired girl asked, an elated smile gracing her lips. Massie nodded, not making eye contact with the girl.

"Oh, well it's wonderful to meet you. Where did you move from? Are you liking Westchester? I can't wait to show you around Briarwood." She ranted, her ice blue eyes big and happy. "Oh you'll _love _it here."

Massie scoffed internally but kept a shell on the outside. Smiling and giving Kristen and obvious dismissal, she moved past Kristen to start heading home—she's had enough company for one day.

"I'll see you soon, then." Kristen's voice called distantly as Massie kept walking, her lips pursed.

Speed-walking back home, she began running home. Hopping the stairs up to her house, she bounded inside.

"How'd everything go? You weren't out very long," Kendra pointed out, chopping away at tomatoes. "Is everything alright?"

Massie nodded solemnly, her eyes droopy and tired. She plucked out her white-board and stuff and began writing sloppily.

_**I'm tired. I'm going to bed. I'm not hungry. Love you. Night.**_

Walking to her mother, she kissed her cheek and hugged her. Running up the stairs, she glanced back at her mother's figure. Kendra always seemed so lonely these days, but Massie knew giving her mother her own presence would not be a gift.

Changing into her pajamas, she slid into her extremely comfortable queen sized bed and fell fast asleep.

The entrance of yet another nightmare.

Always nightmares.

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_**Author's Note: **_How do you like it? I just thought of it when I was reading, _JustCallMeSara_'s "Justice Needed, Justice Found". It was extremely inspiring. Thank you. This first chapter is dedicated to you. (=

Review, please.

-J.H.Q.S.316

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	2. Chapter 2: whispers taunting

C o n t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 2: **whispers taunting

"_No! Please—don't." She begged, her amber eyes large and very serious. _

"_I wouldn't be so sure of yourself; you want this." His cold voice reminded her. Anger was evidently lacing its way into his voice as he continued. "And I'm finally giving you what you want," _

"_NO!" _

With a shudder and a large jolt, her eyes popped open; wide and terrified. Panting, she lifted her palm to wipe away the sweat that had formed on her for head. Hating not being covered by blankets, she cursed herself for her low tolerance for heat as she kicked off the heavy comforter.

Calming her breathing, she stared up at the ceiling—this was a start though. Finally getting at least—she glanced at the clock—3 hours of sleep, that was a record. At least she'd be able to keep her eyes open for most of the day. _11:22pm_.

She sat up once again, feeling drowsy but not sleepy enough. Glancing around the room a few times, she slid out of the warmth of her bed and padded to the balcony that was to the right of her bed. There was a door and she opened it as she climbed out of the room.

Perching herself on the ground, she glared up at the sky—a peculiar look placating her face. Frowning as she made her way back to her bed, she sat up on her bed and grabbed a book to read for the rest of the night.

* * *

:::-:::

Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she crawled out of bed when it was about 6:23am. At least she'd be able to go downstairs and brew a cup of coffee for her and her mother.

"Morning, honey." Kendra's voice surprised Massie as she leapt into the air, searching for her mother's face. She was sitting at the small kitchen table with a mug already in hand. Massie shot her a quizzical look as she went to the coffee maker to pour herself a cup. "I couldn't sleep," Kendra admitted.

Massie nodded absent mindedly as she relished the feeling of warm liquid flow down her throat. It felt _great_.

"How'd you sleep?" Kendra asked, her eyes already knowing the truth.

Massie shrugged, too tired to fetch the white-board.

"The neighbors are coming today, so please; where something nice and be on your best behavior." Kendra pleaded, her eyes very serious—sparks of happiness were still left over from yesterday's events.

Massie nodded as she sipped more coffee.

* * *

:::-:::

Bored out of her mind, Massie sat at her computer desk where her Mac Book Pro laptop was placed on the oak wooden desk. Booting it up, Massie watched everything load as she waited patiently.

Logging onto AIM, she checked to see who was on.

Kids from her old school were on, but all immediately logged out the second they saw Massie's screen name pop on. A stab in the heart, she logged herself out too—a huge frown etched on her never-smiling face.

"Massie, get dressed—you're coming to Home Depot with me whether you want to or not," Kendra notified as she rushed around the house, getting everything clean. "I need paint for my room."

Rolling her flecked eyes, she slipped into some comfy jeans and a pretty—but plain—shirt that covered her back and chest pretty modestly. Rushing downstairs, she spotted her mother talking to someone outside on the front lawn.

The lady was pretty in an elder way, and had long stick straight blond hair with very bright blue eyes. Her cheek bones were high and attractive and she was thin and model-like.

Kendra was laughing—_laughing_. Massie sucked in a deep breath and let it out with a _whoosh_.

Gliding downstairs, she walked in front of Kendra with an indecipherable look plastered on her pretty face.

"Judy, this is my daughter, Massie." Kendra introduced, her no long tired-looking eyes watching Massie.

"Oh, hi—it's so nice to meet you." Judy Lyons grinned, "I have a daughter your age, as well as a son your age. You'll meet them tonight." She explained, a happy look dancing on her face. Massie felt like throwing up.

Feigning happiness that would not come, she pushed away from her mother's loving grip and stormed back into the large house, feeling her anger boil.

She didn't want anyone to force friends into her life, it wasn't necessary. In frustration, she tugged at her hair.

A bad habit she did often enough.

* * *

:::-:::

"Massie, please hurry up and get dressed. The Harrington's and Lyons will be here soon," Kendra patiently called from downstairs.

Massie felt a jolt of surprise, _two families? _That was a bit too much.

Running downstairs with white-board and marker in hand, she wrote speedily.

_**Two families? **_

Kendra shook her head no, "Judy married a man named Jay Harrington, but she kept and gave her maiden name to her daughter and Jay kept his name and gave it to his son Derrick Harrington." Massie understood now.

Taking a small look around the room, she noticed the house looked spotless thanks to their old house keeper that just moved here with them. Inez.

Inez had lived with Kendra and Massie since Massie was born but just got to New York this morning with her belongings to live in the Block estate. Inez was Massie's second mother, and her driver, Issac, was pretty close to the family too. He lived in their estate as well but just came with Inez this morning.

Inez bounded into the room in a flurry, "Kendra, which appetizer would you like to be served first? The cold ones? Or the warm ones?"

Always very precise, Inez was.

Kendra too as in a rush but managed to squeak a, "Warm ones please," while she flurried around the house. Massie rolled her eyes in annoyance but returned upstairs to change into her carefully picked out outfit.

If she were meeting new people—it was obvious they would judge her by her appearances; that means clothes, jewelry, and everything on the outside.

Sliding into new clothes, she carefully chose a midnight blue, fancy blazer with a white blouse underneath. She paired it with dark wash jeans—she didn't need to be _too _over the top. She matched it with her favorite necklace: a golden chained necklace with a pendant that had a rimmed gold heart with blue sapphire diamond within it. It matched the blazer perfectly.

Staring at herself into the full length mirror, she examined her outfit one last time then marched downstairs to the sound of her door bell being rung.

"Hello! Welcome!" Kendra greeted at the door just as Massie slid down the staircase with easy grace. Her eyes surveyed the guests.

A boy with blond sandy hair that was a bit unruly, and the brownest eyes she'd ever seen. A girl with naturally stick straight blond hair—much like the kind Massie had seen on the woman named 'Judy' earlier—with corn silk hair. She had very blue eyes that were very mesmerizing. Her outfit was pretty plain actually, and no makeup was brushed onto her face—like Massie's.

"Hello, Kendra. Thank you so much for having us," Judy introduced. "This is my husband Jay," she gestured to a middle aged looking man that was attractive. "My son and daughter, Derrick and Claire." She pointed to the blond haired boy and the light blond girl, Claire.

"This my daughter, Massie."

Forcing a small smile—which too a lot of effort—she pointed to the brunette that was staring at the two kids with the strangest look across her face.

The adults shuffled off into the living room, discussing something intriguing. Massie was left with the two children.

"Hey, I'm Claire." The blond greeted, an easy smile on her face. Massie nodded.

"And I guess that leaves me to be Derrick," Derrick stated, his smile a bit uncomfortable. He surveyed Massie uneasily and she crossed her arms tight across her chest with a grim line on her tight face.

"Are you liking Westchester?" Claire asked, desperate for a conversation shift. Her brother was blushing madly.

Massie nodded tersely, her shoulders hunched and tense.

"Are you going to Briarwood?" Derrick wondered aloud. Massie blushed herself, unsure why she was flushing a scarlet red.

Massie nodded again.

"Are you excited?" Claire interjected, an eager smile evident. She was practically jumping in her spot. Massie shrugged.

Gesturing for the two to come upstairs, she lead them to her room—trying not to regret anything she were about to do.

She pushed the off-white door open that lead to her room. The two padded in the room, silent with movements thanks to her plush white carpet.

"I like your room!" Claire gushed, her baby blue eyes delighted. "It has a comfy aura to it." She giggled. Massie smiled a little at the blonde's excitement over nothing big at all.

"Hey, whose that?" He pointed to a photo.

As quickly as the smile that barely was on her face, it left. Sprinting to where Derrick was pointing, she picked the picture up without sparing a glance at it as she placed it face down into the desk with pressure in her shaking hands.

Now feeling overwhelmed and not needing any company intruding in her room any longer, she impatiently gestured to the door. Dismissing the two from pointing out any more photos she did not want to discuss.

Both frowning with bewildered tight lines in their faces, they left without another word. Whispering as they left ear shot.

Attempting to control her rage, she took deep calming breaths as she sat on her bed, her hands in her face. Shutting her eyes tightly and curling and uncurling her fists, she took one last deep breath. She could not lose control, it wouldn't be fair. They didn't even know what was wrong. _No one did._

Tucking a lock of silky hair behind her ear, she rolled her shoulders back, trying to lose the seething tension that seemed to roll right off her shoulders.

_Don't do it again.

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_

_**Author's Note: **_Hmm, what do you think is going on? Thanks for all those awesome-tastical reviews! It made me grin so happily! Now just a notification for all you readers: I'm heading off for vacation tomorrow and I may not be able to update tomorrow. I will have access to a laptop but I'm not sure if I will be able to update chapters that I write on the plane rides…but I will try. I pinky-promise. (;

Reviews make me happy, so make me happy! (=

Review Replies:

**.: **_Why Massie does not talk is yet to be figured out soon. You may just have to predict what you__You think happened judging by the cryptic, and vague things I will tell you. (; Thanks for reviewing._

**The Whale: **I can't tell you what really happened or --if something happened to Massie-- it's part of my story.  
But i can tell you that it was something that you may least expect...

**Anonymous: **Massie's past/background can not just be handed to readers like a silver plater, it's got to be given _piece by piece. I want things to seem not so obvious like so many stories. You'll just have to wait and see.  
And who knows if Massie will be popular or not--popularity isn't everything..._

**Fanfictiontastic: **Not going to lie--your review made me smile and chuckle. Yeah, Kristen isn't exactly sure what's up _with Massie's lack of words or enthusiasm... but who knows if she'll become understand or not? As well, thank you__so much for reviewing. It means a lot to me. (=__**too-much-of-a-book-lover: **Thank you. (= __**Rashelleah95: **Haha, of course I will keep writing this story! (= Thanks!_

**Kylie: **Why MAssie won't talk is not going to be revealed yet. Just guess in your reviews? _**JustCallMeSara: **You have no idea how happy your review made me (= And thank you sooo much for those lovely comments.  
I really hope you'll continue to love it because you were the inspiration for it! Anyway, I will update as soon  
as i can. Trust me; i'll try very hard to. And yes, Kendra is trying to look strong for her daughter... but she __slips like a normal human. And i definitely hoped readers would catch the strong discomfort in Massie's gestures__towards poor Kristen. (= Keep reading! Thanks again! (: __  
__-J.H.Q.S.316 ___

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	3. Chapter 3: forever, forever is over

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 3: **_forever, forever is over_

Reluctant as it stood, she took one more deep breath and headed back down the stairs; her hand gripping the railing tightly.

Obviously not meaning to ease drop, she could not help but hear her Mother's voice explaining something to the Lyons and Harringtons...

"She—has an issue with talking," Kendra's voice simpered. Massie felt her fists clenching as she gritted her teeth. _Kendra had not right to tell these __**strangers**__, Massie's personal past/life! _

"I can't exactly tell you what happened—because it's Massie's story, not mine…but I can try to summarize it being as vague as I can be." She admitted quietly. Massie held her breath as she sat down on the stairs; trying not to be seen in anyone's peripheral vision.

In a very hushed tone, Kendra began very quickly telling snips of her daughter's secrets.

"She was 11 when this all began…" She softly whispered to the awaiting ears. "We had never seen it coming—but it did—and now we—as in Issac, Inez and I—can't get her to utter even one single word."

An interruption appeared.

"—What happened though?" Derrick's sweet voice flowed in Massie's ears. Massie was desperate to see their faces now as she tried not to let her mind relive that horrible memory she carried with hunched shoulders.

"I can't tell you," Kendra mumbled. "It's not my story to tell."

Extremely grateful, Massie decided to finally make an entrance—now that nothing else was being said around that topic.

"Hello, honey." Kendra seemed surprised to see Massie's hunched figure as she walked into the living room where everyone was seated. "You missed a delicious dinner—I can heat it up right now if you want. Or—"

I held up my hand up to her face and shook my head no.

"Okay." She muttered, a crease denting itself onto her face. It grew more and more pronounced with every waking day; which had the same cause and effect on Kendra's daughter.

"Who wants dessert?" Inez asked quickly as she scurried into the silent awkward living room; her tiny eyes were squinted as she tried to save Massie from more interrogation.

In spite of her annoyance towards her mother, she had felt a small swipe of gratitude. At least her mother had the sense not to tell any of these people all about her—without her given permission, that was a relief.

"We'll have some dessert," Judy and Jay politely replied, glancing at their children.

"Us too," Claire declared as she smiled easily at Inez's worried eyes. Inez returned the smile as she hurried off to retrieve the desserts.

Sitting silently, trying not to allow the awkward tension wrap around them, Massie tried to force a small smile despite the awkward confrontation.

"So—are you excited for school?" Judy asked as she shot Claire and Derrick a peculiar look.

"—Yeah totally, we can't wait for you to come and join us—you'll love Briarwood Academy." Claire chimed in, sounding rather bashful.

Massie shifted uncomfortably. Kendra luckily stepped in answering for Massie.

"Massie was telling me earlier how she's feeling nervous."

She rolled her amber eyes in protest but didn't bother interjecting.

* * *

:::-::::

"Thank you so very much for having us over, Kendra." Judy thanked as she scooted her kids out the door slightly. "And it was such a pleasure to meet you, Massie."

She forced a grim smile but didn't say anything—like-wise.

"We hope to see you in school." Claire called over her shoulder as she and Derrick ran out the door giggling to each other.

* * *

:::-:::

"Now that wasn't too bad, was it now?" Kendra asked her only daughter with ease; a small smile playing on her lips.

Massie picked up the white-board with a look of irritation.

_**It was dandy.**_

Kendra scolded Massie with a grin.

"I don't know about you, but I thought it was nice meeting those two children. They are very sweet—and Derrick; he's such a cutie."

Massie shuddered at the idea of her own _mother_ with Derrick…

_**I'm going to bed.**_

Massie tiredly crawled up the stairs with exhaustion blurring her vision.

Pulling on pajamas and crawling into her comfy, welcoming bed, she shut her eyes and lay in soft silence; occasionally hearing her mother's melodic voice as she sang along with the radio.

Rolling to her side in discomfort, she kept her mind sealed from any stray thoughts; _no thinking freely._

Chanting the same mantra for god knows how long, she finally felt her lids shutting securely; if only for a brief few minutes or so…

Ready to face her terrifying nightmares once again, she winced when she felt the on coming nightmare for the billionth time ever since she was 11 years old…why did it have to be her; of all people?

But as she let her mind think—being in tact with her rationality—she had thoughts about that Derrick boy. She didn't try to be obvious about the undeniable attraction she felt towards the shaggy blond haired boy; but she couldn't hide it _completely_.

As she dissected what happened in her room earlier that day, she immediately regretted her reflex actions to snap at someone that posed a question like that. They hadn't know, and they weren't expected to know so much about her—thank goodness or else they wouldn't want to be her friend anyway.

Glaring at the ceiling once again, she allowed her trailing thoughts to picture that boy.

His shaggy blond hair—almost unruly hair that was all over the place—attractive even then. His brown eyes that were so deep in depth that she couldn't break away from eye contact until he had. His tall lean figure; his posture: poised and confident.

Without even realizing what she had been doing, a small smile was making its way onto her face. The idea of someone like him—liking her, was fantasy. Even though she lacked words; maybe just maybe he would see her in a different more understanding light than everyone else seemed to be viewing her as.

Maybe.

Making mental plans to invite him and Claire—the bubbly blond—over tomorrow maybe to hang out made Massie anxious; maybe even a little happy.

And before she could even realize it, she fell asleep with a soundless nightmare-less slumber.

_A first…_

:::-:::

"How did you sleep last night?" Her mother asked as she examined Massie carefully. "You look happier."

Feeling her own giddiness, she tried to appear nonchalant and anything but anxious.

_**Sure.**_

"There's a girl that wants you to call her back; I think she said her name was Kristen Gregory and that she met you earlier."

A little surprised, she scribbled impatiently.

_**How did she get my number?!?!?**_

"I put it in the directory for the applying students," Kendra admitted sheepishly. "You'll meet more people that way." She concluded seeming a tad bit smug.

Rolling her eyes for the hundredth time since she arrived, she sat on the couch with aggravation evident.

_**I'm going outside—I'm not calling Kristen back.**_

"Why not?!" Kendra demanded, her eyes flashing a bit. _Why_??

_**Because I don't need anyone else in my life than I already have.**_

"Bull." Kendra mumbled as she went back to put away her coffee mug away.

"You love meeting new people."

_**LovED.**_

It was Kendra's turn to roll her eyes in response. "Have fun outside."

Grumbling internally, Massie marched out into the autumn air, feeling a breeze as she stuffed her hands into her pockets of her sweatshirt in defiance.

Feeling even more uncomfortable when she saw a Spanish looking boy looking at her curiously, she crossed her arms tightly in front of her chest and chewed on her lower lips; unsure…

"Wait!" A unfamiliar voice called. It was certainly a guy. It was the Spanish boy she saw. "Are you Massie Block?"

Massie nodded, her eyes squinting at the boy that knew her name. _How._

"Hi—I'm sorry, I'm not trying to sound stalker-ish of course—sometimes I just seem to act like it anyway. I'm Josh Hotz." He was attractive in a weird way.

He had long dark eyelashes, masking his brown coal-like eyes, warm and welcoming. His body was thin and sort of tall; definitely someone that works out.

Pulling out her white-board out—feeling generous for once—she began writing.

_**I'm—well you know who I am. I just moved here from California. **_

Josh nodded. If he was surprised about her silent words, he didn't show it: _good actor._

"Do you want to hang out some time? I want to show you the best place in Westchester, New York." He asked rather sheepishly, a blush making its way onto his pale cheeks.

Massie found herself returning the scarlet shading.

_**Sure. –Wait; lemme guess. Does this 'special' place, include some kind of food? **_

Josh groaned in aggravation. "How'd you know?" He stomped his foot, winking at her to show he was only joking. "You ruined my surprise!" His humor towards acting like a pout-y 6 year old was intriguingly amusing.

_**Lucky guess.**_

"What's your cell-number? I can text/call you the time and stuff; even if you spoiled the surprise."

_**1-978-824-3951**_

"I'll call you."

Grinning for what felt like the first time ever, she quickly felt her hard façade needing to be relinquished. He couldn't know. Not now, not ever.

_**I gotta go. Bye.**_

Scampering off without another word or explanation, she ran off; away from her house; Father and farther away.

Growling in frustration at her abrupt motions, she stalked inside her house with cheeks that were red—but not out of embarrassment.

"Hello, honey. How was your walk?" Her mother asked knowingly.

_**Dandy.**_

"Did something happen, sweetie?" Kendra's motherly tone kicking in—since when did her mothering tone come in when she was concerned?

_**Nothing. I'm taking an advil and going to take a nap.**_

Frowning again, Kendra pulled out a glass of water, and a pill for swallowing.

Gulping down the pill and water, she stormed up to her room and threw her head against the pillow with silent shrieking of irritation.

_Why couldn't she be able to talk to boys without abruptly ditching them completely, randomly? Why can't she allow herself to talk—even if she was capable to do so—she was afraid that if she tried, her voice would betray her?_

Bitterness wrapped around her tightly.

:::-:::

"Massie, someone's here for you. It's that lovely Claire and cutie Derrick."

Massie rolled her eyes discreetly and rolled out of bed with hair fraying all over the place. Not caring enough to try to retain the mess of snarls that were bound to be in her hair, she padded to her bathroom and swiftly pulled a brush through her long hair. Tugging a few times at those snarls, she made her way down the stairs once she felt decent _enough_. It wasn't like she was trying to impress anybody.

"Hey!" Claire's elated smile greeted Massie's tired face.

Nodding to notify Claire that she said hi, she nodded to Derrick's quiet figure. He was unusually quiet since the last time she was around him.

Glancing half-heartedly at her Mother, she stared at her mother's extremely pleased expression. That was new.

"Massie, why don't you invite them inside?" Kendra suggested, trying to seem subtle.

"Actually, Ms. Block, we wanted to invite Massie outside to join the rest of the neighbors to play a scrimmage of soccer."

Kendra's eyes lit up even more—if possible—and she clapped excitedly. "Massie _loves _soccer, don't you Massie?"

Massie didn't retort though, just stared at the two blonds that caused her mother to bear such joyful emotions; not even _she _could make her mother smile a genuine smile these days…not that she blamed her mother for the very lacking enthusiasm.

Pointedly glaring at her mother, she nodded despite her own thoughts to the idea. Loving soccer or not, she didn't even know these people for God's sake!

"Great! Let's go!" Claire pulled Massie's hand as she dragged the brunette out with so much bubbling excitement that even Massie couldn't hold back a small contagious smile. Derrick didn't share any emotions to Massie's dismay; he remained silent—thoughtful?

"You'll meet the rest of our 'gang'," Claire giggled like a school girl as she led Massie towards a park-like place.

Upon arriving at a wide open, lush green area, Massie saw seven figures all talking a group; ill at ease.

"This is my boyfriend, Cam Fisher." Claire gestured to a boy with one blue and one green eye; Very original and attractive. He had an athlete's body—no doubt. He was hot.

"Hi." Cam's soft voice echoed in Massie's ears.

"This is, Plovert. His real name is Chris but we call him by his last name: Plovert." Plovert had beautiful midnight blue eyes that were extraordinarily endearing. His body too, was an athlete's body. His mouth was turned up in a friendly but almost shy smile?

"This girly here, is Alicia Rivera." She pointed a beautiful Spanish looking girl—she reminded Massie of Josh. Alicia shared the same kind of long dark lashes, and naturally red lips. Her eyes were chocolaty like a doe's.

"Hey," Alicia's accented voice murmured. She was model like; thin, pretty, tall.

"This annoying boy here, is Kemp Hurley. He's the biggest perv, but we love him anyway." Claire snorted out a laugh.

The boy she glanced at had an afro hair style that was like crisp brown. His eyes were an army green that was so intense; Massie felt the need to look away.

"And last but not least is Josh Hotz." Claire introduced. But of course Massie already knew the Spanish-twin kid. For god's sake: she had given him her number already.

But luckily, Massie didn't have to say a word because Josh interjected for her.

"I already know her—we met on the sidewalks." He smiled a very blush-worthy smile.

Massie nodded to confirm.

"So now that the introductions are out of the way, let's play some soccer!" Everyone cheered and began taking places on the large field. Massie couldn't help but notice Derrick went to the goal.

Why did she even care though?

* * *

**

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**

Author's Note:

Thanks for the AWESOME reviews; you guys are incredible.

Review?

-J.H.Q.S.316

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**Review replies: **

_**: **_Aww! Thank you very much! That review meant a lot to me; especially with that very thoughtful and lovely review! (=

_**: **_I really appreciate your thoughts. Massie may have a temper but her motivations are verryyyy reasonable. Thanks for reviewing!! (=

_**.: **_You rock! And of COURSE I will update!! (:

_**Xxmissyluhvxx: **_Addicted?? To my stories? Oh my! (: Thank you so veryyy much!!

_**Xjgege: **_Awhh, thanks! I like your insights; they're very thoughtful and extremely kind! I promise to update asap! (:

_**:D: **_Veryyy thoughtful. I _like_ it!! Your prediction just gave me a thought…I'll give you credit for the idea when I write it up! It's not for later chapters though, so keep your eyes open.—I feel really guilty making you, and all the readers wait for me to update. I'll try to update my stories as soon as I can; once I receive internet access of course though… (:

_**Fanfictiontastic: **_Awwhh—man, you're very funny. Wal-Mart? How random can a person get?!? 'Cause of course Wal-Mart guys are TOTALLY hot, pshh. Dude, I love reading your reviews—they're funny and amusing. (= Hehe.

UPDATE: if you guys give me 12 or more reviews for this chapter—I will write an even longer chapter next time, and reveal more of Massie's past. Because this current chapter was quite a vague filler!

Review!

-J.H.Q.S.316

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	4. Chapter 4: drowning in your nightmares

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 4: **_drowning in your nightmares_

"How long have you been playing soccer?" Plovert asked Massie with a small smile, his blush appearing as she turned her amber eyes on him; freezing him in his spot.

She held up four fingers with a smile—a little fake, a little genuine.

Plovert grinned, "Me too!"

Derrick watched with unreadable eyes…staring at the two with a foreign feeling.

Massie nodded and turned back her attention to the offensive ball, feeling a little more life and joy in her, that she hadn't felt in so long since _that_.

The scrimmage was over, and the sun was exiting…Massie's almost-burst-of-happiness was fading as much as the previous light.

"We're going to grab a bite to eat at Slice of Heaven—a pizza place that's sooo good. Do you want to come?" Claire asked kindly. Massie hesitated but tried to recall the sliver of happiness she just felt and immediately nodded her head.

:::-:::

She hadn't spoken for four years and a half. She hadn't uttered a 'thank you' in between those silences. It first began in the very beginning with very few "thank you's" but then it reduced to absolute, solid, silence.

All thanks to _that_ 'thing'. People didn't like to discuss that 'thing' and she appreciated that at first. But the more days that passed, and the very little hours of sleep made, she fell into a neutral, emotionless slumber.

And up until now, no one had been able to wake her from that deep sleep. _No one_.

* * *

:::-:::

It felt like life was revolving very slowly around her. In fact, it felt like time was passing _so slowly _that she hadn't been able to realize time was passing until she met people that actually acted genuine. She still had to be on guard though, or else…she shuddered and winced at the idea of her past recreating all over again.

"I want a mushroom and sausage pizza." Kemp declared as he stared at some waitress as she bent down to pick up some littered trash.

Kristen smacked him on the head—hard—and even grinned an ear-to-ear grin even though it was obvious it disturbed her.

Massie did not understand this behavior though, because the only thing she had ever come to know was brutal, fake, 'love'. If that is even such a thing that exists.

Glaring tiredly up at the white, pale ceiling she pursed her lips and attempted to tune out the other's chatter echoing in her ears.

She heard Claire's happy laughter at Cam's dry humor.  
She heard Kemp and Kristen's flirtatious discussion.  
But what she didn't hear was Derrick's and Plovert's and Josh's unusual silence. She didn't see their glare-offs at each other because she was so distracted by the plain ceiling.

The white that was painted along the ceiling reminded her of her life. There were many cracks and lots of damage done to the ceiling. It looked sickly pale, and just downright sick. The ceiling had many dents in it, and it was the only white wall in the restaurant. It was lonesome and broken.

Sorta like her.

* * *

:::-:::

Massie nodded at everyone as she scribbled on a scrap piece of paper that she was tired and was going to walk home. They nodded their understandment—even if they didn't—and said good-byes and 'nice to meet you's'.

Standing up from her chair, she made her way through the restaurant with a frown etching its way onto her once lively face, as she glanced at her golden watch—a gift from a friend. It was almost 11:00pm. Frantically, she began walking a little faster into the bitter autumn wind. It was pitch black outside and only the _whoosh _of cars was heard.

It was sickly pleasuring to her to know that there was such a thing called happiness after what she went through.

Daring herself a little more, she was about to jog but she stopped when she felt a strong arm on her shoulder.

"STOP IT!" She screamed, not even realizing her slip-up. But when she turned to stare at the blond haired boy, she realized it was only Derrick.

"You talked—"

Massie sprinted away, why? Because she shouldn't have spoken. Why? Because she didn't even know she was capable after such a catastrophe. Why? Because she had so much heartbreak in her life that she didn't she had an ounce of emotions left in her.

But he triggered something.

Something she couldn't comprehend.

Something that broke her heart more into shattered pieces of thin air.

Something that left her broken and not herself.

Something that started with the word, 'L' and ended with 'E'.

Something she never wanted to feel ever again.

* * *

:::-:::

When she walked through those doors she almost considered, 'home', she burst into uncontrollable tears. She was in hysterics and was becoming faint headed.

"Massie! What's wrong!?" Kendra exclaimed, a look of horror washing onto her paler face. "TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!" Kendra begged with so much compassion and worry weaved into her face, Massie felt her mother's terror in her own body.

That sent Massie into further tears.

Soon, she was drowning. Drowning in her own terrors of what they refer to it as her 'past'. It was terrifyingly sick, and absolutely scarring. She couldn't shake it off, and she couldn't get it out of her body.

She was soon seeing black. Black everything. Blackness was wrapped around here and she didn't know what was happening or if she was even alive now.

Then—there was silence.  
Her biggest fear.

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**Author's note:**

Wow you guys, 30 reviews for only three chapters!? Sweet Jesus. I'll update as soon as I can. Possibly tomorrow? Thanks for these reviews you guys, it's inspiring and amazingly awesome!!!

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**Review Replies:**

_**The Whale: **_I sort of told you a little more in this chapter. Sorry to bring up your hopes only to crush them in the end. /:

_**..: **_You rock for reviewing on practically everything of mine! It's crazy! And you rock my writing world!!! (:

_**Xjgege: **_My oh my, thank you! And yes, it would be weird to not have a friend that does not talk… huh. I would stress and obsess over that personally—hey! That rhymed. Sorry, I'm crazy!!!

_**BraidedTissues: **_Wow, I really like your pen name. It's a lot cooler then mine! (= Addicted to my writing—that's a first for me! And if you reviewed 12 mores times, I'd laugh but I don't think you can. I think you can only review once per chapter. And technically you can only review 4 times. Hahaha my logic.

_**Brownie00: **_I'll try to update as frequently as possible, but sometimes I'm incapable of doing as such considering that there is not internet connection where I'm headed off in a few days… But I'll try and write a mean-while chapter.

_**ThisIsMyPenName101: **_What exactly happened in Massie's past is a complete and utter secret that no body but me knows so I suppose you just will have to wait and keep reviewing like the fantastic person you happen to be! I'll try to review and give you much more hints about her past but I can't just hand it to you complete and everything… OH! Feel proud that I gave you more of an insight about her past.

_**Jenniferbroflovski: **_That's funny. You're funny. And I can't tell you yet what happened to Massie—basically my whole story is based off of my readers dying to know about her past—and when I tell you guys what happened, most readers will not want to continue reading sooo, I'm trying to hold onto you guys as long as possible.

_**Fanfictiontastic: **_I love receiving reviews from you because they're always so encouraging and kind. They make me smile or laugh. It's great to have such wonderful writers reviewing on _my _stories! (=

_**Rachaelleah95: **_Sorry, but I'm not going to tell you much of what you want to know because this is part of the story! And Massie's shipping is a secret. Massie's past is not told yet. She does have a cell-phone and texting, but she doesn't have it with her 24/7.

_**Alphaskier: **_To make this story different from other fanfics was my absolute goal; so thank you for confirming my hopes! It feels great!!

_**I'mFloatingOnCloudNine: **_You found out your answer to your previous question in that review within this chapter. I did that just for you (: And my penname stands for my initials in real life. (;

_**BookLoverEmma: **_Thanks for reviewing (: What's up with Massie? God knows why she doesn't speak. Just wait and see and hopefully, keep reviewing!! (=

_**Review.**_

-J.H.Q.S.316

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	5. Chapter 5: find your voice

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 5: **_find your voice_

When Massie woke up the following morning, her throat was on fire and here eyes were itchy. Kendra was in a chair sleeping looking extremely tired.

"Hey sweetie," Kendra jolted awake when the nurse came in to check her heart beat. "How are you feeling?" The nurse, Adele, questioned as she checked Massie's heart.

"Yes, honey, how are you?" Kendra interjected looking rather frazzled.

Massie shrugged as she took another deep well-needed breath.

"Tired?" Nurse Adele asked patiently.

Massie nodded again.

But then the flood of everything that happened last night and the faces of the people she had just met made everything so much for tiring and overwhelming. She was frantically trying to pull the chords stuck in her, out. She hadn't prepared for this, _and _a hospital.

"_It's all your fault. All. Your. Fault." __The redhead spat, her eyes flashing dangerously. "He's dead, and all because of you."_

She winced and stopped struggling when Kendra shot her an apologetic look for taking you to a hospital.

"When can she leave?" Kendra asked through unmoving eyes, her eyes glued to Massie's face—searching for something she wasn't finding anymore.

What was it she was looking for though?

"In an hour or so…" The nurse checked her watch and scurried out of the white room.

Massie nodded in acknowledgement as she stared up at yet another ceiling. It was more cracked of course, yet everyone went around acting as if it was perfectly in good condition.

:::-:::

"Massie, Derrick's on the phone. Pick up." Kendra called from downstairs. Groaning to herself, she put down her book and apprehensive at once, she picked up her home-phone.

"Hi?" Derrick asked.

She received a text.

_**Hey. Sorry, I hung up from the phone. How about we talk? Do you want to go to the local pond with me to swim?**_

_**-Derrick**_

Massie couldn't hold it back any long though, she was afraid he told all his friends about her slip-up the other night and now they were dying to know why she didn't talk in front of the rest of them. She desperately didn't want them to think that she was choosing favors either.

Frowning slightly she texted back.

_**Why did you text me? **_

Immediately she got a response she hadn't gotten before.

_**Because I want to this easy for you.**_

Now she felt angered a bit at his pity. But she quickly received another text.

_**And you're my friend. I had to make sure you were OK. **_

Massie felt a smile approaching on her face but tried very weakly to stop that smile from growing but it did. She couldn't stop it because it was something she liked but felt the guilt and crippling agony, later in the evening.

_**Okay. I'll come with you. Pick me up in 20?**_

Derrick sent back quickly.

_**Okay. (=**_

Massie replied with that shy, dumb but involuntary smile.

_**(: **_

* * *

:::-:::

Unstable and nervous, she bit her nails—a bad habit until now, she had been able to quit. Why was she so nervous? She couldn't understand either.

She heard a car door slam and without even looking, she knew it was him.

"Derrick's here!" Kendra shouted. Massie glanced at her reflection once more and ran down the stairs feeling ecstatic.

"Hey." He greeted as he examined her and flashed a smile. She returned it meekly as she followed him out to the car in comfortable silence.

On their way he had attempted to make small talk but it was difficult to when she didn't reply in words. But he had tried and seemed very willing to try to make this easier for her—after all he did think that she was a friend of his.

"What's your favorite kind of ice cream?" He asked conversationally, ill at perfect ease. Massie shrugged even though it was evident that she favored one flavor over another; she didn't want to go to extra lengths over something that would probably end quite soon.

Glancing half heartily out the window, she slowly let her mind rack. She thought of the first time her mother and father had their first argument—the first time his father—she winced and shook her head clear. Now was not the time to relive her very own personal hell—especially if she was going out with a friend.

She's gotta pretend that she's alright. She _has _to if she wants to live the closet thing to normality.

But that's the problem; no one can tell her everything will be okay. No one can even look her in the eyes anymore it seems; at least they can't look into her troubled eyes without wincing or shuddering or reliving the whole nightmare.

"Uh, Massie—are you okay?" Derrick's eyes were crinkled with worry when she turned her attention out of her mind to the kind boy next to her. Massie nodded and took a deep breath again.

"I know this is a lot to ask from you—but do you believe that in the future—that you'll talk? On your own free will?—That you'll even just talk to _me_?" He asked very quietly, the brown specks in his eyes were patient and full of hope—hope that Massie didn't feel that she deserved.

Reluctantly, she felt like she owed him so much but she didn't think she was ready yet—or ever. Massie opened her mouth but no words came out; clamping her mouth shut, she hesitantly opened her mouth again, but only breathing was heard.

Staring emptily and unhappily at Derrick, tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. His eyes were indecipherable but she knew some deep emotion was hidden in those eyes.

His eyes were running over her face, as if he was memorizing it for keeps. He wore an expression as if he felt guilty for this—that it was some sort of sick joke that he was hogging Massie from the others. She didn't understand that small hint in his eyes.

Squinting a little, a small tear rolled down her cheek. She may not be able to talk right now but he could innocently read her eyes as if she were saying _I'm trying, I really am. I'm sorry._

"Don't cry," he murmured as he shushed her and easily sat her down on the bench; discarding their previous melting ice creams. "It's okay. I promise." His voice was so sure and sincere that it made her sick.

Leaning over dizzily, she barfed up the few remains of the ice cream and last few small bites of food she had eaten. She half-expected Derrick to sprint away, like a bat out of the hell, but he cooed and shh'ed her with his arms around her in the girls' bathroom. When others turned to glare at him for going in the girls' public bathroom in the ice cream parlor, he returned the glare icily and lead her in with tender and care.

She threw up a couple more times until finally, she felt like there was nothing left to do.

"Well, I'm sorry that wasn't so good. You still want the rest of your ice cream?" He joked, his eyes trying to make her feel better and maybe make her laugh.

And for once, she did. A small timid noise flew from her mouth, and for the first time in life: she didn't run from the noise.

She smiled even bigger as his eyes lit up hopefully; not pressuring her to make any more noise.

"Here have a piece." he handed her a piece of stride mint gum with an ease radiating off of him. "You'll feel better, trust me." And she did. She truly did.

"tnks." She managed to utter very, very quietly. She smiled again, this was working. She was progressing; and even better yet… he hadn't ran from her. Maybe, just maybe, this will get better.

Maybe that ceiling will be repaired by ordinary but completely specialized people; leaving it mended and on its way to healing.

_Maybe._

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**Author's note: Hmm. **What do you guys think of this chapter? In your reviews, please include who you'd like Massie to be with in the end.

Review.

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**Review replies:**

**Fanfictiontastic: **You're my hero. (: You have the funniest, yet blunt reviews and I just absolutely enjoy reading them! They make my day. And sure, I think the ceiling thingy was a simile. (=

**Kylie: **You're welcome (=

**BookLoverEmma: **I will try to make my updates as frequent as possible… but inspiration is dwindling. Hmm…

**Kylie: **Okay, so I made Massie talk again, and notice something here: Massie only talks in front of Derrick…? Hmm… What do you think of that? And thank you!!! Your reviews are so lovely, and long. I LOVEEEE long reviews!!!!!

**Coffee-addict-always: **Hahaha, I love your penname. I love iced coffee myself! My mom doesn't like me drinking it though because she thinks _I _get HYPER? Heck no! Massie talked again, and for that, feel great. You had my anxious to get her to talk. Oooh…hmmmmmm….

**Brownie00: **Thank you (= You're too sweet.

**The Whale: **Yup, she talked again in this chapter too. Massington shipping seems so common…but who knows what will happen? I'm not positive of her shipping yet myself so that's why I need all of your opinions.

**Cliquexxloverxx9: **Yeah I know, sorry about making you guys wait so long for her to talk. But if you think about it, it's only the 4th/5th chapter. That's much sooner than I had originally planned.

**.: **(= I love saying, 'hmmmmm' if you haven't noticed. Hahaha

**Chantal xoxo: **Thanks. And I'm sorry for my most recent chapter making you feel sad, I always feel like it's a huge compliment to make others feel what you intend for the character to feel. So thank youuuu (:

**Braidedtissues: **Bahahahaha, you are awesome! How can people be so funny over TEXT! Hahahahaha. You're funny! And thank you so much! That was a great review to read, hahaha.

**Alphaskier: **Me too. And thanks! I love hearing people's responses from reviews I make—I feel like they actually listen to me and it's really nice. You can never know what people do with reviews; whether they take the reviews to the heart, or don't bother reading them. Who knows? I think reviews are always sooo helpful!

**Jenniferbrofloski: **hahaha, your penname is funny. My name is Jennifer toooo!!! And thank you; all these reviews are so motivating and such good ego-boosters. I had a pretty rough day and reading reviews always makes me feel better, even if it's just for a tiny bit. (= So thank you.

**Clique forevah: **Don't pull that card on me!! You have no idea how hard it is to try and find a perfectly appealing story, and update frequently as possible with _decently good_ quality. Especially when you're on vacation using your mom's laptop… there's tons of cons to this! ):

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_**Review.**_

-J.H.Q.S.3136


	6. Chapter 6: after all these things

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C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 6: **_after all the things you've said_

"Hi Ms. Block, Massie—she got a little sick—I think it was the bad ice cream," His tender voice murmured as he carried her easily up the stairs. "She should be fine in the morning."

Groaning a little, she shifted once he gently placed her on her bed, Kendra led him to her room.

Massie could still hear the soft exchange her mother and Derrick were making.

"Please have her call me when she feels better, I'd like to know how she's doing." Derrick requested quietly. Kendra responded silently but Massie's lids were drooping and slowly she was losing vision. "Thanks."

And then there was the noise of a door shutting and shuffling feet in the distant.

Turning over a little and not even waiting very long, soon everything was black and she was lulled asleep.

* * *

:::-:::

_**D.**_

"Hey D, my man. How was last night?" The boy with one boy and one green eye asked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Derrick shook his head, trying to find his voice. To locate what his voice sounded like in the present. He was still a little shell-shocked at himself, actually. He shouldn't have been around her so much, or for god's sake, he shouldn't have asked her mom to call him when she woke up!

"No." Tersely, he began running towards the soccer ball. Upon arriving at it, he lifted his back leg and aimed right towards but ball, and shot. He felt so angry, and so worried, and so _full_. Full of emotions that he wasn't used to feeling, especially all at once.

"Then what crap went down that makes you so angry?" Cam snapped, his eyes flashing.

"She got sick and threw up tons of times." Derrick admitted. Cam's eyes widened a little.

"Dude, what the hell happened?"

Derrick ran a hand through his disheveled hair, resulting with his hair spiking up. Why did he even care though?

"I'm…not…sure…"

Cam glared at him. "If you hurt Massie at all I swear I will—"

"—I didn't, now if you will please do me a favor and shut the _hell _up." Annoyed and worried, Derrick couldn't help but notice Cam's overly protective act towards Massie even though she's barely been here that long; what's up with that?

"Sure you butt crack." Cam retorted, rolling those multi-colored eyes that all the girls pined over. Derrick snorted but couldn't find the energy to say anymore.

"Dude—why are you so worried about this chick? She's cool, but I mean—it's like not like you two are dating." Cam reasoned, probably trying to make it sound less drastic then Derrick put it. Derrick gritted his teeth.

"I—don't—know." Derrick took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

"—you're paranoid, man," Cam started patiently. "And you only get paranoid when you like a girl." Derrick froze from his position at slamming yet another ball into the net, and held very still. His whole body was numb and unmoving.

Very slowly, he turned his face towards his best friend's; he was whispering through on moving lips.

"Do I?"

Cam scoffed, "Only you can answer that question, dude." And he shuffled away, probably hoping that Derrick would think about it. Psh… like he'd do that!

--But what if Cam had a point?

* * *

:::-:::

"Did you hear about that pretty brunette girl with amber eyes, going on a date with Derrick Harrington?" The blond paused, "Wait, does she even talk?"

Glaring she raised her head and eyes, "Why does it matter?" The raven haired beauty snapped.

"Because she's been here for weeks and I hadn't heard her utter a single word—how is she supposed to have a relationship with _Derrick_?" The blond replied, feeling irritated and jealous.

"Whatevs. Oh—and she's nawt dating Derrick, so getcha panties out of a bundle." And with that, the Spanish beauty stood up and sauntered off without another word.

* * *

:::-:::

"The dance is coming up—do you want to go with me? No. That sounds too gay," Derrick paused and stood still in the full length mirror in front of him self. "Massie, would you like to go to the ball avec moi? _No._ That sounds too—"

"—Too formal." A voice behind him finished. It was feminine and sweet as sugar. He whipped his head around to find the brunette that had caused so much havoc lately for herself.

"—You talked!" Derrick exclaimed, his voice bright and excited. Massie nodded, and sighed a little. Her voice was something he wanted to commit to memory—although he wasn't sure why. Her melodic voice happened to very soft so Derrick had to strain to hear it—but that was a very huge step.

"I know." She sort of sounded a little smug.

"How?" Derrick asked with a huge elated smile. Massie shrugged a little and glanced around the room, looking for a change in atmosphere.

"Yeah."

Derrick crinkled his eyes a little. "What?"

"Yeah." Massie repeated, smiling to herself.

"_What_?" Derrick asked again.

"Yeah, I'll go with you."

Derrick processed that for a moment then without thinking, he hopped from where he was perched on and sprinted to her and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you," he muttered into her hear very soothingly. "I owe you so much."

Massie snorted a little, her amber eyes sparkling.

"More like, _I _owe _you_."

Derrick rolled his eyes again, and pulled away from the embrace. "The dance is next Friday, so that means you've got a week to do whatever the hell girls do to prepare for dances." It was obvious he was half serious and half joking.

"Why would I prepare?" She asked, looking frazzled.

"It's a…formal dance." Derrick responded slowly emphasizing. "You wear _fancy _dresses…"

Massie blinked rapidly.

"What?" She asked, even though she knew clearly what he had said.

"A formal dance." He replied, the glow dimming from his once excited eyes.

"W-w-what?" She stammered, her eyes ringing with tears.

"What's the matter?" He walked to her, enveloping her in a huge. "Tell me," he encouraged.

"I—can't…wear anything pretty." She replied, trying to seem vague.

"—Of course you can!" Derrick exclaimed. "You'd wear anything and look amazing." He assured her, his eyes still scrunched.

"No. I can't." She retorted firmly. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Derrick looked taken back, "What?"

Massie just shook her head 'no' and sealed her lips tersely. She leaned away from Derrick and shook her head some more—in denial?

"Bye." She managed to utter as she stormed out of his room without another word.

Derrick was left in the middle of the room, wondering _what just happened._

_Ring, ring, ring!_

"Hullo?" Derrick had scrambled for the phone.

"It's Kristen Gregory."

"Oh. Hi Kristen," Derrick shortly said, confused why Kristen would call him.

"Do you want to go to the dance with me?" She bluntly requested. Surprised and taken off of guard, he stammered incoherent words.

"What?"

"Dance. With me. Yes?"

Derrick uttered a "lemme think about it" and hung up, staring straight in front of him. He looked out his window and could faintly see Massie's figure pacing in her window. Then she reached to the hem of her shirt and was about to lift her shit off to change but Derrick slammed the shudders down—stopping himself from getting into more shit.

Scurrying to his feet, he headed down the hall to Claire's room. "Claire?" He called.

"What." Was Claire's flat response.

"Help me!" Derrick barged into her girly room and got on his hands and knees. "Help me get Massie to go to the dance." He pleaded, his hands folded in front of him in a prayer position.

"_What? _Why?" Claire shook her head and crinkled her eyes in confusion. "Derrick?"

Derrick shook his own head and turned away from her wondering eyes. "I like," He paused, weighing his options. "I like cheese."

Claire growled in frustration and smacked Derrick square on the head. She doesn't normally have a short temper, she just happened to today because of PMSing?

"If you mean, 'cheese' as Massie, then, yes, you must like cheese."

Derrick punched her arm gently. "I don't know!" He groaned and glared at the ceiling; a silent plea to God asking what he did to deserve this torture and confusion. "I can't tell! I like her, but is it like _like_?" He folded his hands in his face and smashed his head into Claire's pink wall. Claire smacked him on the cheek, her eyes irritated. She didn't hit him hard but enough to stop his own personal beating.

"Stop hitting yourself and think rationally."

Derrick stopped his beating and sat on her bed, his hands folded in his lap.

"Rationally, rationally," he drummed his fingers against his lap like an overly hyper child. "Rationally…"

She hit his arm again—a lot of abuse today. "Stop being a retard—if you can that is…" she grumbled. "And spend more time with her and THEN decide if you like her. Don't rush her." She explained. "Massie deserves a good boyfriend, and I don't want you screwing up with her."

Claire wasn't one to be protective—nor was Cam—so what was up with this strange possessive act over Massie?

"Don't give me that look," Claire snapped, her mothering tone kicking in. "Massie deserves _realistic _relationships. Don't screw her up."

Derrick sighed deeply and inhaled fresh perfume smells. Then he sneezed. "Thanks," and he sneezed again. "Your room smells weird." He complained as she scooted him out; he didn't protest of course.

"Bye loser." She playfully grinned and swatted him out.

* * *

:::-:::

"Yo Derrick. You're sucking at goalie." Kemp snapped, those green eyes piercing. "—Getcha head in the game!" He was a pretty cliché kid.

"Sorry." Derrick mumbled as he dodged a ball flying at his face. Then he turned his attention to the school. Soccer tryouts were tomorrow and school began the next day, so Derrick wasn't prepared to see Massie with Claire sitting on the bleachers talking (even though Claire was saying everything) and watching the soccer practices. Claire always had a plan up her sleeves.

"You better be—or you'll be sorry my ass if you don't make it on the team." Kemp had always been an ass if he was grumpy from getting rejected or something—which was actually surprisingly rare.

Derrick snorted and side-glanced at his sister and …friend.

They were watching him and Massie made the first move by smiling a little. That caused hope to burst in Derrick and he waved. Massie blushed and whipped her head around.

"Dude, you're whipped for a girl that doesn't say anything." Plovert muttered as he leaned against the goal post. "She is very pretty though." He added. Derrick snarled a little and Plovert moaned in aggravation.

"Please tell me that you're not going to go all protective on her—she's worth every dime, but she doesn't deserve a player like you." And he stalked off. Massie had watched the exchange and a horrid look was plastered on her face; she didn't hear the conversation, but from judging by their expressions, some shit went down.

Claire patted Massie's shoulder and shot a pointed look at Derrick. Derrick waved her off and stared longingly at Massie. The brunette shook him off—similar to the way Claire had—and Derrick frowned.

* * *

:::-:::

"Hey Kris?"

The blond turned around and squealed, "Hey!"

"I'm saying yes."

"To what?"

"The dance—let's go together."

Kristen squeaked again—causing Derrick to wince a little—and she ran and hugged him in a bone-crushing hug. "Awesome! Pick me up at 6:45pm and we can be there about 15 minutes late; showing fashionably late is the best way." She explained. "I'll be ready—don't be late." And she strutted off with her face up in the air.

…

"What have I done?" Derrick whispered to himself.

"—Made yet, another mistake."

He abruptly turned around and saw the beautiful Alicia Rivera standing there with a hand on her narrow hip and big pout-like lips pursed tersely.

"Excuse me?" Derrick asked, his voice higher then usual.

"You made another mistake; no wonder why Massie isn't sure to trust you. She just watches you make mistake after mistake; Plovert, and Josh don't make mistakes like that. She'd be better off with them." The Spanish beauty mumbled thoughtfully. "You don't deserve her—not after what you've done to so many girls."

And once again, she walked out on him.

* * *

:::-:::

"Massie I have to ask you something," Kristen requested her smile as fake as her spray tan. Massie nodded her lips tight.

"Derrick just asked me out—and I heard you two had something, and well, I don't know—would it be alright if I said yes?" She batted her eyelashes trying to appeal innocent.

_**Go ahead. **_

"Excellent, well I'm sorry about how you two crashed and burned. You'll be better." And she skipped away.

_Prick_.

Staring at her reflection, she ignored the scars that were traced from her elbow, up. She stared solely at her face. Her complexion had high cheek bones, full naturally pink lips, fiery piercing eyes, and blemish free skin. She leaned over the sink and silently cried.

No one could see what she went through, and the one first that was breaking through what she always protected—decided to give up on her.

_Dandy x100._

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**Author's note: **_So I've taken your reviews/opinions to heart, and I don't think I am going to do Massington-shipping anymore. So many of you find it a rather non-original pairing so I want this story pairing as 'original' as the plot. Who knows though? Surprise pairings, remember? You haven't heard much from Josh yet, but the next chapter will be all about Josh. Oh, and feel grateful that I updated so quickly. I hope you appreciate it. (:_

_**Review.**_

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_Review Reviews: _

**Fanfictiontastic: **_I think it's excellent that you review first! (= And I love your rants over reviews because I LOVEEE long reviews… they're fun to read. Short ones like ' I like it' make me bored. I don't have the time to write you a super duper long review but I'll try to bend this out as long as I can. Thank you for the super duper long reviews, and I put in 'dandy' just for you. I personally say dandy a ton and my friends always shoot me 'are you retarded?' looks! Hahaha. Keep reviewing please (: _

**Hbanana092: **_Hmm I wonder what you think of Derrick now, after this recent chapter. I kind of think Derrick's a prick in this chapter but it'll all work out in the end… I think. And yeah, Massie only talks with Derrick… it's just something she's sort of adapted to. And even with Derrick—she didn't say much. Thanks for reviewing. (=_

**Brownie00: **_You're one of the few that actually enjoys the fact that I don't tell you why Massie doesn't talk; so THANK YOU. I love reviewers that make me grateful. Thanks for reviewing so often, you rockkk! (:_

**Braidedtissues: **_Don't feel bad, my mom always yells at me for babbling all the time; you're not alone (; Besides… I see nothing wrong with ranting like the true idiots we areee!!! Hurrah!! Anyhoo, let's go back into context… Thanks, but Massington just seems so common. I'm kinda not sure of the pairings yet myself, so we'll both just have to wait and see. (: Thanks for reviewing, your reviews make me chuckle a ton. So thanks for making me happy._

**Cliquexxloverxx9: **_Funny that you mention that she's opening up to Derrick because in this chapter, she just snapped that little ounce of hope that he was worth trusting—shut. So why dontcha wait and see for more? (: Thank you for reviewing, they're pleasant and lovely. I love using that word… lovely. Hahahaha _

**Chantal xoxo: **_Hmmm let's see…_ _MassieXDerrick you have only seen in the last chapters really. There hasn't been much of MassieXJosh, or MassieXPlovert, so the next chapter will give you an insight about MassieX? I haven't decided who I want to focus on next. Just wait and see and keep reviewing with your awesomeness!!! THANKS!! _

**miss darkstar: **_Who Massie ends up with depends, really. I'm not sure who I want her to end up with so I guess you and the other readers will just have to wait and see what happens! Thanks (=_

**Kylie: **_There. I described Massie's profile. I need you to know that Massie thinks lowly of herself, so that description isn't the best one you'll receive. Thanks. _

**AlphaSkier: **_Are you CRAZY?!? ~I love having reviews from the same people, it's really nice! And of course I want you to keep reviewing!!! You MUST be crazy! (; Thanks for reviewing, and feel free to keep reviewing. (-:_

**raisonicecream: **_The way Massie/Kendra both interact is part of the story. In the last chapter I think I mentioned that she hasn't talked for years—so Kendra was bound to adapt to her daughter's habits. (: Lemme know if I'm not clear with anything else. OH! And the ceiling simile… awwh yeah! I love ceilings now hahaha :P_

**REVIEW.**

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**_PS: Fanfiction is being retarded, so if you don't see your name under "Review Replies", please don't kill me. I've been trying very thoroughly to make sure all the names are listed but fanfiction still has many flaws to it, so sometimes it doesn't show up anyway. My apologies!!!_**

**_3_**

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	7. Chapter 7: my favorite disaster

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 7: **_my favorite disaster_

Silently she walked into the house, feeling so stupid. She barely knew that boy and she already felt like she trusted him enough to break such a vow. Massie does want to get over with this horrible silence; but she just can't get over the fact that she was so _stupid _to believe his lies.

"Massie, honey? Please open the door."

Massie didn't reply, and Kendra didn't expect it. That surprised Massie though, she expected Derrick to run all over the place telling everyone he got the girl who had been silent for years, to talk. What an accomplishment. But, no, he didn't. Why?

"You have a visitor though." Kendra explained. "It's that sweet Claire Lyons, girl."

Very slowly, Massie got up from her bed and shot the door open and pointedly glanced at her mother as she walked down the stairs to the front door.

"Hey Massie, uh, how are you?" Claire awkwardly questioned; her baby blue eyes curious and a little pitiful.

Massie lifted her hand up and gave Claire thumbs up.

Kendra made a lame excuse up and scurried off to 'check on Inez's cooking' even though Inez made the best meals.

"So—_you have to go to the dance!_" Claire bluntly snapped, her lips pursed and no longer looking so friendly. "I am going to _drag_ you there if I must." She threatened.

Massie abruptly took off towards the stairs, but Claire caught up to her and tackled her to the ground. They both stared at each other for a moment and burst out into hysterics. Even though Massie's laughter was silent, silent tears of happiness were rolling down both the girls' cheeks.

"So are you going to come?" Claire simpered.

Massie nodded reluctantly.

"GREAT! Alicia, Kristen, and I are getting together at Alicia's to get ready for the dance and dress shop and everything—do you want to come? We're meeting at the mall tomorrow to shop for dresses even though the dance isn't for a days." Claire patiently explained.

Massie sighed but nodded, obliging.

"Excellent, so I'll see you tomorrow in the front of the school; Alicia's driver, Dean, will pick us up right as school ends. See you soon!" And with that, she bounced out of the room back to her usual bubbly self.

Sighing and feeling extremely freaked out, she rested.

:::-:::

"Hey, Massie. Glad you could make it." The raven haired beauty shot Massie a full blown genuine smile and glossed with some strawberry scented lip gloss.

Massie didn't really like makeup…

"Did I mention to you the small detailed fact that the boys are meeting us there?" Claire mumbled quietly. Frozen and taking deep breaths, Massie attempted to soothe her raging mind. And negative thoughts.

"Derrick—um, he'll behave." Claire assured awkwardly; the bubbly blond was gone again and here to stay was the awkward blond.

Massie nodded, feeling sick to her stomach. Yeah, she felt bad for ditching him like that but he didn't have the right to totally go and ask out another girl; yet what was Massie to expect? She should've seen that coming.

Upon arriving at the huge mall, Massie was ready to coward in the backseat for eternity. She couldn't let ANYONE see her in a revealing dress…there would be questioning, and answering that Massie preferred not to retell.

"You'll be fine, Mass. I'll watch Derrick." Kristen winked and sauntered out of the limo with her ego expanding by the moment. Trying not to let her inner green monster eat her whole, she took another breath and allowed rationality come through.

She hardly knew the blond haired soccer player, and now half of her (the more rational side) wouldn't allow her to even give him the chance after the stunt her pulled, but the other half (the more reasonable side) screamed: _give him another chance! He's only human! _

_**SHUT UP!**_

Great, now she was talking to herself.

Then her heart thumped a little faster and sweaty palms were itching. _He_ was here.

"Hey girls," he called, acting nonchalant and oblivious to Massie's presence.

"Hi." They all replied, happily making their ways to their crushes/boyfriends.

Josh, Plovert, and Derrick quietly muttered to each other.

"Hey Mass, do you want to come with me to Starbucks?" Josh requested; his eyes hopeful and cheery. Shrugging, Massie followed his lead and couldn't stop herself: she looked back and saw Derrick's sad puppy-dog eyes trailing after her.

"C'mon Mass," Josh muttered as he grabbed her hand gently as he lead her towards Starbucks. She didn't protest, but it didn't feel comfortable. His hands were clammy in the gross way; but his personality outshined that…

"So do you like it here for than California?" He attempted to make conversation. She shrugged. He nodded and stared ahead of him, his hand still grasping hers.

When a few guys whistled at Massie, Josh shot daggers at them and gripped her hand tighter—protective over a girl that's not even _his_.

"I hope you'll warm up to this place—it's a nicer place than people make it out to be," he encouraged, his eyes now on her. Her eyes were unfocused though; she was caught up by the fact that guys had actually hit on her.

And Josh protected her…

* * *

:::-:::

_**D.**_

"Yo D, you look like you're going to rip someone's face off…" Cam noted as he sipped a Pepsi with his hand intertwined with Claire's.

"Something like that…" Derrick trailed, his eyes glaring where Massie and Josh—_traitor­­ _were walking off.

"_Chill_." Cam mumbled; his eyes now on Claire with a smitten look plastered on her face. Derrick wanted to snort at the two love-birds.

"How can I _'chill' _when the coolest girl I ever met—"

"—Aren't you with Kristen now?" Alicia asked, biting her cuticles and not making eye contact with him.

"Yeah but—"

"—But you don't like Kristen." Alicia summarized, her eyes now locking with his. "You're getting yourself into some deep shit, Harrington."

Derrick nodded and ran another hand through that messy unruly blond mesh, "I know!" He groaned at that and turned around a couple of times.

"Since when do you freak out over a girl—preferably a girl that you hardly _know_?" Kemp asked as he watched a couple girls walk by, his eyes on their asses.

"Since now." Derrick growled, his eyes not wavering as he glared at Kemp. Kemp just put both his hands up in a surrendering way and spoke in a falsetto voice.

"_Oh Massie!" _

That blew it, Derrick was about to tackle Kemp but Claire knew her brother well enough to stop him before Derrick rearranged Kemp's face.

"Derrick—stop." Claire snarled; her friendly face now stony and foreign. "You're blowing this _way _out of proportion!" She exclaimed, waving her hands in the air, trying to ignore the bystander's curious gazes. "You need to talk to her _privately _and get your shit together."

Derrick nodded and shot Kemp an annoyed yet apologetic look. "Sorry, man."

Kemp nudged Derrick and said, "S'cool, D."

* * *

:::-:::

_**M. **_

"So you like vanilla chi?" Josh conversationally asked as he took a couple sips of his drink. Massie nodded and glanced away from his stare, she scanned the mall and saw Derrick and Kemp nudging each other and mumbling to each other; _what shit went down now? _

"Do you?" Josh asked with hopeful eyes.

Massie cocked her head to the side and shot him a bewildered look.

"—Well do you have a date for the formal dance next Friday?" He repeated, looking impatient now.

Massie shrugged, trying not to replay the day she last talked to Derrick.

"Do you want to go with me—now that Derrick's with Kris?" He questioned, looking merciful.

Massie nodded hesitantly and stared off towards the rest of the group where they all were camped out by Tiffany's where the girls were looking at necklaces and the boys were talking amongst themselves.

She locked eyes with Derrick—another unintentional act she seemed to be performing a lot more then she expected. His eyes were difficult to read—unlike so many others—but he looked tired and anxious.

But when he gave her a small smile, she felt her knees weaken and her heart pick up pace—_stop it _she commanded, her inner conscience awaking. _He doesn't deserve to have someone so messed up as you—nor does Josh. End it._

"Great!" Josh gave her a winning smile, and smugly slung his arm around her slumped shoulders. "I'll pick you up 15 minutes after the dance starts?"

Massie nodded again and let her eyes wander some more.

_What the hell had she agreed to? _

* * *

:::-:::

_**C.**_

"I'm worried about Derrick," Claire mentioned as the girls stared at this Tiffany and Co.'s diamond bracelet. It was gorgeous.

"Why?" Kristen snapped, her eyes shooting annoyed daggers at Claire. Claire returned the look—not afraid of Kristen—and turned towards Alicia for sympathy, or reason.

"—Because, Kristen: Derrick just… something's up with that kid." Claire couldn't find the words to describe how Derrick had been acting lately. It wasn't easy to describe. And even if Claire could find the words to fit in, she couldn't say to Derrick's now _date_. Kristen was already washing up in Alicia's and Claire's and Massie's little friendship circle thing, but now she was inching her way into their somewhat tight knit group.

Without permission.

"Whaddya mean?" Alicia stared at the bracelet in contemplation but obviously had been listening to Claire's observation.

"He just… seems too… spacey." Claire summed, shooting a nervous glance at Derrick and her boyfriend. Cam waved in return. She giggled nervously and turned her attention back at the girls.

"Spacey? He's always been a space cadet. Surely you knew that! You saw those pictures he has up on facebook where he's never looking at the camera." Kristen scoffed.

Claire looked incredulous. "_You facebook stalk my brother?_"

Kristen blushed and looked down.

"I—I'm his date, so, that gives me, er, rights to look at him." She lamely excused herself to the bathroom.

"That girl is _crazy_." Alicia murmured as she handed the cashier her debit credit card; she decided to buy Massie that pretty bracelet she was eyeing moments ago.

"—that's a beautiful bracelet—whose it for?" The cashier asked.

"My friend. She needs some support." Alicia replied, smiling at Claire. Claire winked back at the gesture and sauntered back to her boyfriend.

"Have a nice day," The cashier called as Alicia waved good-bye and thanks.

"You too."

* * *

:::-:::

"We still need to go dress shopping—now that Massie's back from that mini date thingy." Kristen reminded as she looped her arms all around Derrick. To say he was uncomfortable would've been the biggest understatement of the year.

"Yeah, true." Claire chimed in, Cam's arm lazily wrapped around her.

"Josh and Massie are going together to the formal dance." Alicia gossiped, a frown etching onto her blemish free face. Her golden skin shined, and so many bystander guys couldn't keep their eyes off of the Spanish beauty.

"Shit—really?" Claire chided.

Alicia nodded scornfully and sighed as she ran a hand through her dark mane-like hair.

"We gotta go something about this." Claire whispered discreetly to Alicia. Alicia nodded in agreement.

"What are you two whispering about?" Kristen snapped; her icy blue eyes cold and hard.

"Your mom." Cam burped. Claire laughed and Josh punched Cam's shoulder.

Massie stayed silent—as usual—and glanced uncomfortably at the silent Derrick. He looked…remorseful.

And strangely enough, Massie felt--dare she say--bad for him?

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__Thereee. What do you think of that chapter? I'm sorry—I didn't give you much hints about Massie's past in that chapter—but I don't want to rush this story!! Thanks for all these AWESOME-TASTICAL reviews! They're lovedddd. Long reviews :P _

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**Review Replies:**

Fanfictiontastic: _**You really do have the funniest reviews. And longest. And always the first one to review on this story. I loved your one-shot dedicated to Kailin and me, it was toooo sweet! Hearts! **_

Alphaskier: _**Thank you for reviewing. And telling hints about Massie's past was intended, but this chapter wasn't really much of a filler, sorry. :P**_

Kai-xcrunner4life: _**Thanks for reviewing! I am stoked too to tell you about Massie's full past…you kinda gotta piece the pieces together eventually. (:**_

Raison icecream: _**All I've gotta say is: nothing's set in stone. (;**_

Ivoryy: _**Actually… my response is: perhaps things will change. Massie has her issues and her reasons, so that has to be known. You can never know what goes on behind closed doors. (; Thanks for reviewing!!**_

Brownie00: _**Thank you sooo sooo sooooo much for always reviewing! I love having such loyal reviewers; it makes me smile like the retard I ammmm!!! (=**_

Falling through midnight: _**You have a very good point. I'm going to come out and say this out loud: I'm trying to set you readers up in a flurry so you can't guess the pairings so easily…it's all my plan!! So wait!! (=**_

Cliquexxloverxx9: _**I repeat: nothing is set in stone. That includes pairings and you can never know—so don't assume or get yourself in a tiffy. **_

Cheer09: _**Thank you!! :P I intend to keep writing actually, hahaha. **_

Alphashadae: _**I checked out the story and I think it's cute. I really do like your style of writing; thank you for reviewing on my story! It's wonderful to receive reviews, isn't it? **_

Hbanana092: _**I hope you caught onto the vibe Derrick kept sending to Massie in this chapter…**_

Chantal xoxo: _**Technically, Massie ended up turning Derrick down when she abruptly ditched him…so that I needed to make clear. And well, Derrick and Massie have some serious chemistry. And havoc, going on! So keep reading; thank you for reviewing so lovely! (=**_

I'mFloatingOnCloudNine: _**Yes…indeed. **_

ThisIsMyPenName101: _**I really wasn't planning on getting Massie to talk to anyone else…yet, I think. Thank you for your insight (: And keep reviewing!! **_

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**REVIEW. **


	8. Chapter 8: or so you've said

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 8: **_or so you've said_

_**A.**_

"What do you think of this dress?" Alicia held the blood red cocktail dress to her curvy body. "Is it too slutty?"

Claire and Massie both shook their heads.

"It really does compliment and enhance your boobs," Claire joked, her eyes dancing again. She side-glanced at her boyfriend in the store across from the store they were in. He winked at her and discreetly waved her over while the other boys were occupied with looking some video games or something.

Claire walked over there, leaving Massie and Kristen alone—Alicia went into the changing room across the store to try on that dress.

"So…" Kristen drawled, looking bored and uninterested.

Massie bit her lower lip.

"—Massie I'm going to put this in the _kindest _way I can place it, okay?" Kristen began in a sickly faux sweet voice, her eyes darting towards where Alicia strutted off. "I want you to _stay _away from Derrick. I've heard that you actually talked a couple of times for him—and that's _nawt _acceptable. Okay? He doesn't deserve a low-life like yourself, got it? Good."

Feeling her heart snap a little more, Massie stared hard and long at the dirty blond in front of her. She opened her mouth to retort, but knew that Kristen didn't deserve to have bragging rights to say she got the silent-child to talk. Instead of telling Kristen off, she pursed her lips tightly, and closed her eyes until she counted to ten.

"I'm glad to see you know where you stand." Kristen smugly summed as she swayed her hips suggestively towards Derrick. Derrick was pointing out a new Call Of Duty video game that was $57.99 when Kristen reached him. He looked bored—similar to the way Kristen had earlier—and kept talking to Kemp about the game even though Kristen kept clearing her throat repeatedly to earn his attention.

"What happened, Mass? You look like you've seen the ghost of your past!" Alicia exclaimed, her chocolaty doe-eyes, wide and caring. Massie assured Alicia with her hands that it was nothing and its fine.

Alicia didn't look convinced though because she glared at Kristen's long dirty blond hair when she wasn't looking.

"If she gives you any more bull shit, come to Claire or me—we can handle it." Alicia snarled under her breath as she lifted the cocktail dress to put it back on the hangers, answering Massie's quizzical look.

"It looked too revealing." She explained, eyes still following Kristen's seductive moves towards Derrick—who was still looking like he was so fascinated by a cover over video games; but out of the corner of his eyes, he locked eyes with amber orbs—shooting her a peculiar undecipherable look.

She was so caught up in wondering what look Derrick shot her that she didn't even notice Josh trying to catch her eyes.

"Where's Plovert?" Claire realized as she wandered back, without her loyal whipped boyfriend.

"He couldn't come," Alicia explained. "His Grammy was visiting."

Alicia and Claire giggled; Massie cracked a smile.

Ruining the fun like-wise, Kristen stomped back over to the giggling girls who immediately stopped smiling when they saw Kristen—either Alicia told Claire about how Kristen said something mean to Massie—or Claire just down right disliked Kristen—because she glared daggers at Kristen.

"What's so funny?" Kristen proposed, her eyes smirk and knowing.

"—nothing." Claire seethed, her back now turned away from Kristen, staring at a sapphire blue deep v-necked—just below the knees—dress. It was silk, and would go _beautifully _against Massie's just-right natural tan.

"Try this on." Claire commanded as she eagerly handed Massie the dress. Hesitant, Massie reached for the silky dress and stared at it in awe—it really was incredibly beautiful.

Massie walked slowly to the dressing room, and opened the door and slammed it shut—double checking that the lock was on. She stared at the dress for immeasurable moments and contemplated the pros and cons of doing this.

Deciding that if she were to try it on only for her view only, then nothing would happen.

She slid into the silk dress and zipped up the back zipper with ease. It felt comfortable and perfectly easy to wear. Then she turned towards the full length mirror and stood there like an idiot for moments.

The dress really did enhance her tan—but it definitely showed too much –_Too _much back skin. Her cleavage was full, and the nape of her neck was showing as well.

She tried to pretend that those scathing scars weren't traced all along her back, or the fact that there were a couple of scars that were engraved on her neck. She tried to ignore it all—but it was so overwhelming when she saw these scars—hence why she didn't like to wear more revealing clothes. She doesn't need the interrogation.

And come to think of it; she couldn't even handle retelling the horror story.

"—Massie, are you okay?" Claire's voice called worriedly. Massie took a large deep breath, and clicked open the door to peek her face through, revealing none of the dress to Alicia or Kristen's far away view.

"Lemme see the dress!" Claire was eager and hyper.

Massie shook her head no frantically.

"NO! Lemme seeee!" Claire whined, grinning. But Massie was stubborn. And stubborn people usually hold their own.

Massie kept shaking her head no, but Claire managed to squeeze herself into the dressing room, blocking the doorway and efficiently slamming the door shut.

"Well, let's see it, Miss—_I'm-so-modest_." Claire exclaimed. Massie was up against the wall, tears threatening to fall from her glassy amber pools. "Please?" Claire begged.

Massie kept shaking her head no, but Claire managed to see Massie's dress and her entire body. Her back.

* * *

:::-:::

_**D.**_

"So I heard my girlfriend was doing some 'under cover' work for you," Cam conversationally added as he examined the suit he was looking at for the dance.

"What makes you bring that up?" Derrick suspiciously questioned.

Cam ran a hand through his hair uneasily. "Dude, well, uh, I think you need to give Massie…um…time." Cam stammered.

"What? Why?" Derrick protested, putting the video game back on the shelf as he turned his full attention to Cam—something he rarely does: give his attention anyone.

"She—she's healing from a rough past, we all know that." Cam observed as he glanced nervously at the store across from theirs. Alicia and Kristen were bitching at each other, but Claire and Massie were out of sight.

"Yeah…I guess." Derrick reasoned.

"Well—just be careful with her, okay? She's special."

Derrick nodded, "I know that."

* * *

:::-:::

_**M.**_

"Shit Mass, what happened to you?" Claire simpered, her Tiffany Robin blue colored eyes wide and confused. She ran a hand through her blond locks and looked uncomfortable.

Massie opened her mouth to say something, but her voice wasn't working.

"I—uh—you need to buy that dress." Claire said. Massie looked incredulous.

"What?" Claire asked in a high voice. "It looks killer on you—gorgeous actually."

Massie gaped. Why wasn't Claire screaming and running out of the dressing room? Why wasn't Claire gossiping to Kristen and Alicia about Massie's disgusting back that was covered with scars?

_Because she's your friend…_Massie's inner conscience reasoned. Massie just didn't believe it.

"Please buy it? Or I'll buy it if you don't…" Claire threatened; an easy grin on her face once again—the bubbly blond was back—hopefully to stay.

Massie nodded reluctantly. She didn't need Claire buying her clothes either, so she shooed Claire out of the dressing room and slid out of the dress and into her normal clothes.

She picked up the dress and carried it to the cash register and handed them her visa with a nervous jittery feeling overwhelming her.

"This is a _one-of-a-kind _dress." The cashier made small talk. Massie nodded in acknowledgment.

"You know, it's really expensive…right?"

Massie knew that too, so she nodded in response.

"Okay well…" And she handed the credit card and dress back to Massie in a wrap so it wouldn't get torn; like her life seemed to have been.

Torn.

* * *

:::-:::

_**C.**_

"Hey Derrick, can I talk to you?" Claire asked as she knocked on her brother's door. He answered it immediately and opened it welcomingly for her. She walked in, her hands intertwining and fiddling: she looked unsure…nervous.

"What's up, sis?" Derrick propped.

Claire sat on his bed and gestured for him to too. He did.

"Well, I—had Massie try on this indescribable dress on…" Claire began. Derrick waited with eager and impatient eyes. "And she was really…hesitant and stubborn about letting Alicia and me see." Claire tried to put this in the most rational way she could.

"And I managed to squeeze into the dressing room and I saw," Claire took some deep breaths as she got lost in her own memories. She could easily recall those slash marks on Massie's back, and even a couple on the nape of Massie's neck. It was terrifying to think what had happened to Massie.

"What did you see?" Derrick demanded, impatient as usual.

"I," Claire's breath caught in her throat. "—Scars."

Derrick cocked his head to the side and shot her a bewildered look, urging her to continue.

"They were," Claire was fighting to stay in the present, not get sucked into her thoughts, "all over her back. They were brutal, and pale compared to her skin…they looked painful. And god damnit, they were _long _and when I said all over her back—I am _dead _serious." Claire's eyes were huge now.

She couldn't comprehend what she saw, or piece together the pieces of that mysterious amber eyed brunette's past. None of it added up—and all Claire's theories weren't rational enough.

Derrick's mouth was open but he couldn't find words either. He was just as lost as Claire was.

"I—don't know what to say to her." Claire admitted feebly, her eyes landing on Derrick's solid figure. "She's so…delicate in my eyes. I feel like if I was to—oh I don't know." Claire changed mid thought. She was quick minded.

"I know what you mean." Derrick whispered through on moving lips, his eyes still frozen and on the ground. He was staring at the plush carpet with unfocused brown eyes.

"It's very unnerving." Claire summarized.

Derrick nodded his head in full agreement.

"We have to figure out what's wrong with her—or else." Derrick realized shortly later. Claire took that in and nodded.

* * *

:::-:::

Arriving at home from a havoc filled day, she logged onto IM and as usual, watched all her ex-friends log off. But she was more then terrified when she received her first IM from a long last…enemy.

**2Marvilous4U: **_Long time no talk Block—eh? It's great to actually talk to you—wait no, that's right—you don't talk. At all. All because…why? Hmmm? _

Frozen and unable to find the strength to type in words and Dylan seemed to understand that because Massie didn't reply immediately.

**2Marvilous4U: **_Well whatevs. I got my revenge anyway: all thanks to your boyfriend stealing _bitchiness_, isn't that right, Block? _

Massie shuddered, her eyes tearing up again; her chest pained.

**2Marvilous4U: **_It's funny how you thought you could escape California like that—that you believed your past wouldn't come back to bite you hard in the ass, eh? Well anyways darling, I have to go. It was fabulous talking to the biggest whore in California. I'll be looking forward to seeing you soon… Ta, Ta For Now._

_**2Marvilous4U**__**has signed out at 8:31pm…**_

_What. The. Fuck?_

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**Author's Note: **_Hmm I hinted at SO much in that chapter. Be glad; and good golly gosh: SO MANY REVIEWS!!! That's amazing, guys, thank you!!! Sorry about that crass last word...-looks shameful- Forgive meee? _

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**Review Replies: **

Fanfictiontastic: _**Yeah I know right? Hmm… facebook stalking is kinda fun when you do it with your friends, hahhaha. I'm such a creeper. And under context, I always liked to imagine Alicia as a good friend—and Kristen the enemy.**_

Kai-XCrunner4life: _**There were tons of hints in this chapter about Massie's intriguing past in this chapter :P Oh! And thank youuu! (=**_

BraidedTissues: _**You're too funny!! (: My mom can be like that sometimes…she does it a lot actually. Haha. Indeed—I feel honored for you to be using big words just for MOI! Hehe. :P**_

Chantal xoxo: _**The dance I think will be in the next chapter. I'm not too sure yet, and yes, havoc is one of my favorite words to describe such chaos. I really do think that Derrick is still a sweetie. (;**_

AlphaSkier: _**I repeat for the billionth time: Couples are not set in stoneee!!! (: Derrick… awwh man.**_

Cliquexxloverxx9: _**Derrick…he's a very complicated child. So I guess that you'll have to theorize Massie's past, AND figure out Derrick's emotions and stuff! Whaddya know? A puzzle to solve.**_

Raison icecream: _**Dude, I love you too! Hahaha, you're hilarious. I love using quotations and stuff to word out actions that happen because they're always fun to do hahahaha. I loveee Cam myself—he and Claire are a minor couple right now, and I don't want to cause drama between those two lovely love birds. (:**_

Cheer09: _**The couples… that's a secret. Surprise pairings, remember? And I am ANXIOUSLY curious to hear your theory for what you think I'm doing with this chapter. I hope this story isn't predictable.**_

Xjgege: _**Your loss, haha. (: I hope that's not the last review I'll receive from you—but I can't use all reader's opinions because where do my thoughts and ideas come in??? Hmm? **_

just a little CRAZIEE: _**(: awwh, I haven't received a silly review from you in soooo long—I was wondering if you forgot about lil' ole' me. ): **_

dodo955: _**I dunno about you—but I just simply ADORE awkward reviews. :P **_

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_REVIEW._

**-J.H.Q.S.316**


	9. Chapter 9: there were times

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 9: **_there were times_

_**M.**_

Taking a few deep breaths, she nervously glanced at her date. He smiled at her reassuringly and placed a gentle arm around her sweater-covered-shoulder. His warm brown eyes brooding.

"I really like your dress," he complimented in a subdued voice. "But the sweater is unnecessary when you're so pretty." Spasms of worry shot throughout her tense body but she didn't give away any placating emotions.

"Massie! Josh!" Claire called, white blonde curled hair flying from behind her as she struggled to jog towards them with 3 inch heels. Massie allowed a small smile to escape as she watched her friend.

Claire reached them as she lifted one foot to rub because of the damaging heels. "Can I talk to Mass—privately?" Massie nodded feverishly and asked Josh for permission. He nodded easily and turned his attention to Derrick, Plovert and Kemp who were discussing the latest soccer game.

Dragging Massie tenderly to the punch table that _had _to have a little alcohol tipped in, she began whispering very quickly in Massie's diamond encrusted earrings.

"Listen M—Kristen knows a lot. She knows a lot about, well, everyone. She has tendencies to know everything about every_one_. It's just something she can do. She likes to make people miserable at best, and she doesn't know when to stop; watch your back. Dances are where she has the most fun." Claire warned, her ocean-blue eyes darting.

Massie shrugged a little, but nodded in acknowledgment. Claire didn't have to confirm the gratefulness in Massie's flickering amber eyes.

"I'll talk to you soon, 'kay? I think I'm going to go talk to my date—Cam Fisher." They giggled a little and Claire blew kisses towards Massie as she sauntered off, graceful as ever—and beautiful in a simple pink knee-length dress. Simple yet elegantly gorgeous.

The people at the dance partied and danced and drank and danced some more. Grinding bodies and heated make-out sessions, Massie just camped out by the punch table, occasionally talking to the in-n-out Josh Hotz. Her date. Not Derrick.

_Josh not Derrick._

_Josh not Derrick._

_Josh not—_

"Hey Mass," The devil himself greeted as he took a sip of the blood red punch. She held her breath. His caramel eyes were sparkling and beautiful—

_Josh not Derrick._

"How are you liking the dance?" He asked casually as he subtly eyed her dress. "You look beautiful by the way." He added shyly, blushing under the colorful lights.

It was her turn to return the blush. She shrugged, refusing to speak.

"Yeah…boring, I know." He nodded towards Kristen who was dirtily dancing with a drunk looking Kemp. "—She's crazy." He muttered.

Massie let out a snort. Derrick offered a grin in return as they continued to smile at each other.

Massie didn't particularly enjoy social events such as these, but she found herself having a little more fun than expected when she first walked through those hotel doors.

* * *

:::-:::

_**K.**_

"Hey," the blond greeted the red-head with a Cheshire cat's kind of smile. The red-head returned the same smile and glanced confidently at the two obviously liking-boy and girl.

"Are you ready to follow through with this plan?" The blond requested, her eyes malicious and all. The red-head let out a very-un-lady-like bark of bitter laughter.

"More ready than you could comprehend, Gregory."

She shot the red-head a devious smirk.

"Let's do this."

* * *

:::-:::

_**A.**_

"I'm worried." Alicia admitted, tugging on her midnight black halter dress. Claire cocked her head to the right in utter bewilderedness.

The Spanish beauty fiddled her hands nervously. "I haven't seen Gregory once this entire dance—and that's only the _good _part."

The ocean-blue eyed girl parted her mouth to speak but Alicia continued in a subdued voice as she rushed the words out as quickly and subtly as possible—just in case there were ease droppers lurking within the crowd.

"Gregory has plans up her sleeves, and _nobody _can deny that. She hates Massie with burning passion—a blind man could probably see that—"

"Hi guys." Derrick mumbled as he came into the girls' huddled position.

"—Where's Massie?" Claire panicked, not seeing the brunette's slender figure.

Derrick stuffed his hands in his fancy pants. "I dunno."

"_Derrick_." Claire growled, her eyes still surveying the dancing bodies; in search of the amber eyed mystery girl. Derrick followed Alicia's horror gaze.

Massie was against the wall, sitting with her back firmly pressed against the wall, her lips pursed tightly and her locks covering her eyes. Nobody was around her, but it was obvious she was in a state of panic.

Without thinking twice, Derrick, Alicia and Claire bounded toward the panicking brunette.

"Massie!" Claire called as she saw Massie wearily lift her locks of auburn from her face.

"Are you okay?" Derrick asked anxiously as he leaned down to her height on the floor. She nodded in a frozen state.

"What happened." Alicia demanded, her friendliness all but gone. She glanced around the sea of girls and boys, colorful dressed sparkling all around. It was hard to tell what she was looking for.

Massie pointed towards the stage where a dirty blond was whispering in the ear of a unfamiliar red-head's ear. The two were on the stage preparing for something.

Something that they warned towards Massie.

They pulled out a microphone and clicked a button that turned on the projector that shined to a white blank screen.

"What the hell are they doing?" Derrick snarled, seething annoyance and awaiting anger.

"Revenging." Massie squeaked, her eyes wide with terror and pure apprehension. Her lips were parted in horror when the dirty blond spoke into the microphone.

Claire and Alicia were to apprehensive to notice that their usually-silent friend had _actually _spoken.

"_Hello ladies and gentlemen. I'm Kristen Gregory, and this gorgeous red-head next to me is Dylan Marvil. We are here tonight for many important reasons; but the most important one is to know the _truth_ behind your silent acquaintance, friend, or date," _Kristen shot a pointed look at Derrick's furious face. She shot him a sultry look and continued while all eyes were on her. "_Dylan and I would like to proudly present to you the pictures, and _truth_ to all the lies and unspoken words of that brunette." _

And with that, nastily Kristen glared at Massie's submissive posture and turned out the lights with a snap and the camera was rolling with horrible pictures.

The first picture was of a very thin and petite picture of a grinning familiar amber-eyed girl, she looked to be the age of 10 years old. She had long auburn hair—much like Massie's—and was giggling at some boy's words.

"_That my friends, is our sweet little friend. She is first talking to my long crush." _The vicious red-head said, growling as she recalled the memory.

The next slide was a photo of the same girl only much older, she had much longer hair and she was winking at the same boy—only he was much older too.

"_And she continues this horrible god damned behavior, 3 years later." _She continued maliciously.

The next slide made Massie wince in terror. The picture was of her father, William, smiling brightly in a business picture.

"_This is the girl's father. He was a great man…but not really._" Dylan spoke into the black microphone with that same smile that Kristen mirrored.

They switched the next picture to a photo to a graveyard. The words on the grave were, _'here lies William Joseph Block. Husband to Kendra Block, and father to_—"

"THIS IS QUITE ENOUGH!" Derrick, Alicia and Kristen shrieked as they charged up to the stage. Alicia efficiently turned of the slide before anyone could read the 'father to—' words. Massie had been ever so grateful.

"YOU _FUCKING _BITCH." Kristen screeched in anger as she boiled at Claire. Then Claire walked straight up to Kristen and stared her straight in the eye.

"Don't, _fucking _call me that." She began and leaned in farther to Kristen's face. "And _don't _mess with me—my friends—or _Massie _for that matter. Got it?" Claire snarled. Kristen was wide-eyed but she wasn't giving up now.

All eyes were on the two.

"No way!" Kristen protested angrily as she stared at Dylan who was walking to Massie's huddled position, sobs racking her small figure.

"Fuck you." Claire spat as she raced after Dylan. Dylan had reached Massie and was clawing at Massie's sweater to reveal her past.

"STOP IT!" Massie had familiarly yelled. Derrick winced as he remembered the first time he heard that—so long ago, it felt.

"YOU BOYFRIEND STEALER, AND _KILLER_!" Dylan shouted nastily.

"Enough!" Alicia retaliated by pulling Dylan's red locks of curls. "I've had enough of yours and Kristen's 'fun' and this _ends _tonight."

Dylan scoffed as she shoved Massie back to the ground. Derrick raced over to help pick Massie up.

Alicia let out an indignant screech and bitch-slapped Dylan right across her porcelain doll-like smirk. Dylan tripped back and landed straight on her ass.

"I would sleep with your _fucking _eyes open." She warned as she struggled to her tall inched heels with a shout of agony from landing hard.

"You know what? You're right, Dylan." Claire called over as she walked over. Dylan shot her a gracious smile, lending out a hand towards Claire; expecting her to help her up.

Claire winked subtly at Alicia, Massie and Derrick. Then she took Dylan's hand. Once the red-head put all her weight into Claire's arm, Claire pulled back ferociously, causing Dylan to propel into the blood-red punch bowl near by.

"You _should _take your own advice—since you're _so _right." Claire dismissed as she spat on Dylan, who screamed at a _very _disturbing pitch. She tugged at her chemically curled hair and glared at the girls standing above her in doubled laughter.

"I hate you!" Dylan screamed so loudly that Derrick and many other boys covered their ears.

"You should, 'cause the feeling is mutual." Massie stepped in and glared down with the same hatred burning in her eyes as Dylan's emerald green ones.

"Go _fuck yourself_." Massie hissed as she stepped on her Jimmy Choo heels and turned away from Dylan, and from her past.

For now.

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**Author's Note: **_SNAP! 102 reviews guys?! CRAZY!!! Thanksss sooo much for reviewing. You guys are AWESOME-TASTICAL.

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**Review replies: **

ThisIsMyPenName101: _Sorry about the really LONG wait for the update (= But I hope you enjoyed the cat fight. Anyway, I gave you guys HUGE hints about Massie's vague past. Now the next chapters will be her friends trying to piece these puzzles for a little bit…_

Cliquexxloverxx9: _Well this will be one puzzle to solve that you will not forget. (;_

BraidedTissues: _Go bald. I'll feel better about my hair that seems to keep falling out from the looks of it in my brush. Hmmm. (:_

Xjgege: _This chapter had a little Massington, but right now Massie's past is more important._

Brownie00: _Thank youuuu (=_

Krissy0405: _I'll try! _

AlphaSkier: _Your welcome. (=_

Cheer09: _Damn right. Massie sure told them off! With the help of her awesome-tastical friends. (: Hehe…_

Jenniferbrofrovski: _Haha you're too sweet._

Chantal xoxo: _You'll just have to wait and see—this chapter was FILLED with plenty of clues. Hehe (: Now piece those clues together; put two and two together._

Fanfictiontastic: _I know right? Dylan's a major bitch too now. And Kristen still. But totallyyyy cute of Massie's friends to help her out, eh? And first is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the treasure chest. (;_

I'mEdward'sLaTuaCantante: _See. Now you get to see more of DylanXMassie's past. I really hateee Kristen with a burning passion as well. Just a HUGE hint. (=

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_**REVIEW.

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	10. Chapter 10: you were wrong

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 10: **_you were wrong_

_**M.**_

She stood frozen on her bed, unable to hear any voices around her or feel the soft cushioning under her. She was numb as they got.

_Knock, knock_. "Hey Mass, it's Alicia and Claire." Rang Alicia's faint Spanish accented voice. "Can we come in?" She timidly asked.

Massie opened the door and crawled back to her bed, curling in a ball again. Tentatively Alicia sat down and crossed her legs, Claire on the other hand, was ill at ease. She slumped into Massie's purple bean bag and a square thing poked out from her sweatshirt pocket.

"How are you?" Alicia finally asked, her eyes flitting across Massie's face, trying to read her expressions. But there was nothing to read, Massie was emotionless right now.

Feeling all the emotions she locked away for so many years just, plop out, she began speaking. She actually _spoke_ with a strong audible voice.

"I'm okay. But how's Derrick?" She couldn't even believe her own ears—she was speaking to these girls as if she were a normal girl, which she clearly was not. She wasn't even _close _to normality.

Alicia tried to suppress the surprise that colored her tan face but Claire just grinned a full blown grin. "Massie I'm _so _glad to have you back!" Claire squealed and dashed to Massie to hold her. Alicia joined their group and before any of them knew it, they were crying.

Crying for god knows what?

Massie felt the box that was in Claire's pocket smack against her. "What's that?" She pointed to the dent in the blonde's pocket. Claire and Alicia exchanged guilty pleasured looks.

"This, my good gal, is your present for being our best friend." Claire announced happily. Alicia grinned herself and watched Claire pulled out a robin blue Tiffany box.

"Here ya go."

Massie took it hesitantly and stared at the box in awe. The box itself was beautiful. It matched Claire's eyes come to think of it.

"It matches your eyes," Massie murmured as she stared the box. Claire snorted and Alicia giggled.

"Open it!" Alicia impatiently demanded, giggle-blushing when Claire shot her _be-patient-my-young-one _look.

Massie opened it slowly until finally Alicia pried it out of Massie's hand and impatiently flipped it open and shoved the box back to Massie. The amber-eyed girl stared at the golden bracelet. It had one heart that had words engraved. Alicia had it customized.

The simple word was: _hope_. Then it had her name and the year. '09.

"That is—" Massie couldn't finish her sentence because she was hugging her two best friends with so much strength they both couldn't breath. "That's then nicest thing I've ever been given."

The two girls grinned but could not help but be surprised still that Massie was speaking. After last night, Massie had come to the verdict that it was time to end her misery and finally live life.

Even if it meant she'd eventually have to tell her friends about what had happened that Dylan and Kristen had failed to show to the entire grade.

"So." Alicia prompted, glancing nervously at Claire. "What happened last night? Cat fight much?" Claire added, giggling a little. Massie smiled a little.

"Cat-fight is an understatement." Alicia mumbled as she ran a hand through her mane like hair.

"I loved watching Dylan's face." Claire put in, sharing a laugh with Alicia. Massie kept to herself though, trying to calculate the time she'd have until she was going to get the revenge that was always promised by that manipulative bitch of a red-head.

"Can I talk to Derrick?" Massie finally mumbled. Alicia and Claire laughed.

"You like him." Alicia stated, her eyes dancing.

"Do not." Massie argued, her voice catching in her throat a little. "A little." She allowed, blushing. But even she knew the easiness of being with these girls and giggling about boys would never end well.

"He's outside in the car actually," Claire simpered, staring out Massie's windowsill. "He looked impatient and anxious."

Massie sat on her bed, unsure of what to do next. She darted out of the room without and explanation and got in her car, ignoring Derrick's surprised wide eyes, and drove down to her favorite place. The local ocean.

* * *

:::-:::

"Hey." A voice muttered. Massie jumped and turned her eyes away from the view of the sunset to see Derrick walking over, hands in jeans, heart on sleeve.

Massie didn't say anything, not wanting to wear out her voice already.

"Do you want to tell me the truth now? What _really _happened in your past?" He asked quietly. He sat down next to her and scooted close to her, his eyes tired but very genuine.

"I guess I don't have a choice," Massie mumbled.

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**Author's Note: **

_I guess that this was a short and filler chapter. It was a cliffy and I'm sorry—but the reviews are amazing, guys! Thanks!! _

_I'll update tomorrow, so no worries. I pinky-promise. (;

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**Review Replies:**

Miss Darkstar: _I'm sorry that this chapter was so short. But yes, Kristen and Dylan should definitely burn in hell. (:_

Fanfictiontastic: _Hmm. I hope not. And yow is right, hahah. Massie is quite the vicious girl. At least she talked in this chapter!! _

CliquexxLoverxx9: _Sorry I had to leave you hanging like that on this chapter. But all you gotta do is wait until tomorrow; so no biggie. And I apologize for the short chapter—I just had to update before I lost interest. (:_

Ivvory: _Wait until tomorrow. By then, you will be told—maybe. Hahaha I feel evil. Because if I don't tell you what Massie's past was—you guys will be anxious. But I guess you'll just have to wait until tomorrow._

Brownie00: _Don't be a Kristen-Hater._

Falling through midnight: _This chapter was pathetic. I'm tired and I've been writing/working on my new book, so I'm worn out of emotional inspiration. So wait until tomorrow when I'm refreshed and can finally reveal her past. Maybe. Hehe (;_

AlphaSkier:_ Smackers? Fantastical._

Chantal xoxo: _I know this chapter wasn't very good, but tomorrow will be better. I'll try. And maybe you'll find out more about Massie's past? Or maybe KristenXDylan will get revenge on Massie??? _

Little Miss Lyss -: _I'm not guaranteeing anything. And not answering any thing that consists of a prediction. Hmphhh._

Raison icecream: _A test for you in school? Already? That sucks!! You just gotta wait!! (: Tomorrow's chapter will be better than today's update. Sorry._

BraidedTissues: _I hope you don't think I suck at writing because of today's horrible update. I'm so exhausted. But tomorrow I will try. I pinky-promise it'll be better._

Ronweaseleyiluvu: _Wow Jess. I love you. Hahaha. I private messaged you too, so don't feel neglected (: Guess what?!?! I'm tired. I spent all night reading this awesome book and I am in LOVE with this book by Sarah Dessen. Sweet Jesus. (=_

ThisIsMyPenName101: _No problem with the reply. I'm SO sorry this chapter was extra lame. Haha my excuses: I'm tired, my fingers are actually cramping from typing on my book. And I just don't have inspiration despite these awesome reviews. I'll try to update asap but right now I'm about to fall asleep._

Dodo955: _That most certainly is a strange prediction. Hm. (;

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_**Review –even though this chapter sucked-- **_


	11. Chapter 11: when everything's right

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

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**Chapter 11:**_when everything's right_

_**M.**_

Time was frozen. The ticking of that annoying clock in her house, stopped. The silence was overbearingly loud. It was as if it were screaming at her—shouting clear protests. The nostalgic feeling that washed over her was very powering.

She wanted to curl up in a ball and pretend that she never moved from her old home—that she never had to tell the honest to god truth to the last person that she wanted to share it with.

It was as if she couldn't stand any longer; her knees giving in and her weight sending her down under. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to stand back up, or if she even could. The waves of despair, the sense of loss, the lackluster world she played in.

_Massie Block was falling.

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_

:::-:::

"You can trust me," he murmured. She glanced up from the waves that were crashing to stare into those peculiar brown eyes—so plain but so pretty. The honesty and patience was so clear to her, that she just _knew_, it was time to pay up.

Time to live up to the fullest and pay the consequences.

So, she took a deep breath and told the honest to god truth to one person that never judged her from the beginning. The very start.

"When I was 10 years old, my father and mother god a divorce," she could remember the screaming and shouting that her parents had conjured. She could recall the feeling of hiding in her closet up in her room, the darkness wrapping that secure blanket around her, as she heard things getting thrown all over. "At the time, I had no idea why my mother wanted a divorce." Massie could see, even now, that look of fear that would wash on her face whenever Massie's father returned home from work.

"At first," she said quietly. "I thought that it was because my mother was cheating on my father." Massie could even see the guilty look that her mother once wore on her face, even now. "But that was then. I slipped downstairs and hid behind another closet door and saw my father gaining on my mother. He hit her." Massie shuddered. "And I ran from where I was to protect my mother." The look that the brunette's father wore was scarring, the furry and outrage that she still could picture to this very day. "My mother was furious that I would even come out from where I was hiding to protect _her_, but I did. And I don't regret it.

"I couldn't believe it at first; when he hit me, it was a fast movement and I had no time to dash from it. I was seeing stars and the moon by the time my mother got in front of me." Massie flinched as Derrick tried to put a gentle hand on her shoulder. He retreated his hand, trying to hide the hurt that crossed his face.

"But I shook it off. He got another good punch against my jaw—I could taste the blood, even as I went flying towards the door. I remember my mother shouting at him, cussing many words. She charged at him then—I couldn't see anything." She gulped.

"I woke up, and I was in a hospital bed. Everything was bright, and, and," she stuttered, trying to pull out those memories that she was blacking out for so many years. "My mother came in. Bruises all along her skin. She told me to stop worrying, and that William, my father, was out of the picture and that was it." Derrick's face was scrunched.

"So in the end, years later, my mother admitted to the truth that—that, um, my father was an alcoholic. He got away," she shuddered. "But was weeks later found in an alley…dead." She was whispering now, tears leaking out.

Silent as ever, only the sounds of waves crashing in and out, he took small figure in his and hugged and held her tight.

"And the um part about Dylan." She winced as she recalled everything that night. "Well—"

"Tell me tomorrow." He interrupted quietly. "You need your rest right now. Thank you for telling me. And I'm sorry."

Those two words meant so much to her. She's been repeatedly told those two words from therapists, her mother, people that found out…and it meant nothing. Maybe they meant it—maybe they didn't. They just didn't let her explain the truth. They only wanted to hear the cover up story from others. People told Massie that they were sorry about her father's death, but that, that was something she could handle.

"T-thanks." She stammered.

"C'mon, lemme take you home."

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:::-:::

_**D.**_

"What did she tell you, man?" Cam pried. The blue and green eyed boy was trying to untie a knot in his shoe lace that he had tied urgently before. He wasn't succeeding very well.

"None of your business." He sharply replied.

"And why is that?"

"Because I said so."

Cam groaned loudly, giving up on his discarded shoe lace. "I hate those four words, they have no meaning at _all_." Cam was usually the one that was sensitive and understanding—but Derrick was not feeling that vibe at the moment.

"You should; because it shouldn't be any of your concerns."

Cam glared. "I think it is." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Why is that?" Derrick raised and arched eyebrow to prove his point as Cam struggled for words that were not just coming to him—the way they usually did.

"Because, um, Massie's my friend." He lamely said.

Derrick looked away from his best friend, his eyes glancing warily at the brunette's house. Her bedroom was in view of Derrick's so he could easily see her, but her shade was down—as usual—and he could see her figure as she read a book.

Derrick always wondered what the book was about, or what book it was—but something told him Massie wasn't going to share that. Derrick guessed it was just some kind of journal, but truth be told, something in the pit of Derrick's conscience told him that he didn't want to know.

"Why do you always stare out towards that window?" Cam intruded Derrick's thoughts as quickly as they came; they left.

"What?" He asked, surprised.

"You always stare out that certain window," he pointed to the window Derrick was previously staring at. "And ignore whatever I'm saying."

Since when was Cam perceptive?

"Since now."

Cam snorted, staring out the window himself. "Is it Massie's window?" He asked sharply.

Derrick flushed a crimson red and turned away from Cam's smug eyes. "It is, isn't it?" He chortled.

The two boys stood in Derrick's room, hands in jean pockets, eyes glued on that window, and continued to discuss the amber eyed girl that caused so much stirrup in Westchester, New York; each moment leading Cam to be more curious than ever.

* * *

:::-:::

_**C.**_

"Tell me," she said quietly. "Why is it that Massie will tell you the truth—but not me?" The blonde actually looked a little hurt by the small grain of truth in her realizing words. Derrick shifted uncomfortably, glancing out that window again.

"I'm not sure."

"You aren't sure—or you just don't want to answer the question." She replied.

"I would answer the question," he began. "But I don't even know the answer to the specific question, Claire." He was tired, running a hand through the disheveled hair and watching Massie's silhouette pace in her room.

He watched her carefully, always picking up the same type of motions she did. First: she'd always read that same book, and than she'd pick up a pen and write in that same book.

Next: she'd occasionally stare out her other window, facing another way, and bob her head to some song.

And the most important detail: she'd cry herself to sleep.

And for some unfathomed reason; that caused Derrick's chest to clench tightly.

"Derrick?" Claire propped herself on his bean bag, her eyes full of many unanswered and unspoken questions; waiting.

"Yeah."

"I'm proud of you."

He turned his head to look at her with bewildered eyes. "What?"

"I'm proud of you." She repeated.

"Why?" He asked incredulously, his eyes glued on hers.

"Because you learned to stop caring about yourself."

He had no response to reply with.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Good golly gosh, you all are too kind. These reviews are crazyyy! My brother is finally settled in his dorm room—and I'm so sad. He left and he's my best friend .): 4 hours away, I guess I can't really visit him as much as I'd like. But I guess writing and reading are my saviors._

OH! Also, when I DO finish this story, I am going to post a summary on the last chapter of this story, for my new project. And I'm sorry to be the first to admit--it is not a sequel to this story. Thank you so much for all of these reviews. You guys make my dreary, bleak days, well worth it. THANKS! (=

_

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_

_**Review Replies: **_

Just a little CRAZIEE: _aawwh! (: I hope you're pleased with this filler._

The Whale: _Your wish, is my command. (;_

Fanfictiontastic: _I will never grow tire of your reviews. –sighs happily— I'm absolutely flattered by your ignorance towards your school work; although being the responsible child I am, I just gotta say: don't neglect school work just for my stories. It's ludicrous._

Ivoryy: _(= I hope you liked this chapter. I have a perfect plot for a new story—since this one is coming to a wrap soon—and I hope you'll all review on that one! I really am excited to share with you that new story, and I'm excited to tell the honest to god truth, about DylanXMassie's past havoc._

Cliquexxloverxx9: _Tell me your prediction! Are you right in the end?! C'mon, don't leave me in the dark with this kinda stuff. It's killin' me._

Click forevah: _Landon? Why does he even matter? He know absolutely NOTHING of importance about him aside from the fact, he acts kinda gay and is sweet at times. HE MODELS? Uh no. I am not going to write a story about a character that is placed in the last book and comes up what? 4 times through out the entire book!_

I'mEdWaRd'SlAtUaCaNtAnTe: _Seriously, you are too kind. And absurd. I'm not the best in anything—there's always someone better, and that's true in life, I guess. But thank you. You really are, too nice. Is that even possible? I guess so! (=_

: _Awwhh, gee. Thank you! I'm in the process of debating whether or not I should post up the new story I have in mind WHILE WITH THIS ONE still going on—but I decided to finish this story, than move onto my next project thingy. Thanks!_

ToLazyToSignIn: _Haha I'll try._

AlphaSkier: _There. Happy? –takes a deep breath in anticipation— did you like it? It was hard to fit into the story. And Dylan's and Massie's past will keep you guys reading—even if this story is almost done. (;_

Chantal-xo: _Hahaha, it made me laugh too. I love people like that 'patient my young one.' (=_

BraidedTissues: _God I love you! Hahahaha (: I really hope you weren't disappointed with this chapter—I don't even know what to make out of it. But I guess that's the gift of opinions. Hehe (= Thank you! 'Defying the laws of gravity' Hahaha. Psh. Too kind you are!_

Mandee: _Patience is a virtue, my friend. Haha (= I am no way, in hell, patient. Ask anyone. Hahah_

Xjgege: _Never stop writing because school conflicts with your writing. I haven't begun school yet, but no way am I going to quit writing or go m.i. just 'cause of school. I love writing too much!_

ThisIsMyPenName101: _I hope you didn't mind that I didn't share Massie's entire past yet. I'm trying to bend this story—just a teensey bit longer. (=_

Raison icecream: _I know right?! I love her writing style, her plots, HER HER HER! Hahaha :P I really loved the book, __Dreamland__ by her. It really was, incredibly emotion-building. It made me cry sooo much! I love tear-jerking books. They're always ones I remember for a longggg time. Thank you also! I love your humor! Hahahahahaha. I reallyyy need to read your favorite book, well, 'cause, I need to. I have a new plot in mind. And well. I—just PM me. 'Kay?_

Dodo955: _Well. I didn't share the entire past of Massie's, but more than enough. Tell me what you think! Thanks for reviewing!!! (=

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_

_**REVIEW.

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**_


	12. Chapter 12: behind the shadows

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

* * *

**Chapter 12: **_behind the shadows_

_**D.**_

"I can't believe she managed to _screw _with us _again_."

The blonde scoffed, "She _always_ ends up okay."

"We've got to do something about it—something that is _so _revenge worthy. Not something she can stop. Again."

"And what do you have in mind Dylan?" The blonde asked tiredly.

"Did I ever mention she got raped?"

"No…"

"—_Yes_."

"What a fucked up girl..."

"I know." She agreed, bobbing her head.

* * *

:::-:::

_**M.**_

She gripped her new bracelet tightly, a symbol that she was not alone. And she never would again, right?

"Massie Jillian Block, get down here, right _now_." Kendra shouted angrily from downstairs.

Biting her lower lip, Massie idly wondered why her mother would be angry at her. She had done nothing wrong…that she could recall?

She gaped when she saw her mother's favorite pot on the ground, shattered glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. Her mouth was open, eyes large.

Kendra glanced at Massie, her eyes still flashing. "What happened." She said flatly.

Massie prayed Kendra could read her face expressions.

"Whatever Massie. You're grounded." Kendra mumbled, looking tired already. The anger gone as quickly and abruptly as it came. She was having mood swings again.

Then she turned green and sprinted off.

_Sick_?

The phone rang a few seconds later but Massie was too exhausted to speak some more so she let her mother pick it up. Her mother didn't. She hesitated but let the phone ring out completely.

The caller left a voicemail. "_Hey Kendra, it's Macon. Call me back, sweetie. I heard you were sick and wanted to check in and see how you were. Alright…bye." _It was a male's voice…who? He called her _sweetie!_

"Who was it, Massie?" Kendra crawled back into the room, her eyes droopy and tired and her face pale as the white sheets in the guest bedroom's comforter.

Massie gestured to the phone to check voicemail, not trusting herself.

Kendra listened to it with a hand covering her mouth, and very slowly she turned to Massie; a guilty expression clouding her face entirely.

_What._

"Mass, we need to talk."

* * *

:::-:::

_**C.**_

"Have you spoken to Mass since she told you all of what you will not tell me, now?" Cam said.

"No." Derrick replied, biting his nail nervously.

Swiping his phone out in case, he waited for Massie to text him. She didn't.

"Why not?" Cam asked curiously, stretching his arms and legs that flailed all around him on the couch. Derrick watched half mindedly, his other half of mind was worrying if something went down in Massie's house because the lights were on in the kitchen but not Massie's room.

She wasn't asleep. Not yet.

"_DERRICK_." Cam snapped.

"—Sorry." He stuttered, forcing himself to look at his best friend. "I-I'm just worried." Cam looked like he was about to sing.

"_Derrick Harrington __**actually**__ feels an emotion!_" He danced around the room while Derrick shot lashed daggers at him, his patience obviously wearing off.

"Shut the hell up or get out of my house."

Cam backed off, hands in a surrendering position, a smile still gracing his lips. "You have to admit, dude. Massie has _really_ changed you."

Derrick didn't reply, his eyes on the shadows in the kitchen of Massie's house. The two silhouettes had to be Massie and her mother.

The taller one—Kendra—leaned towards Massie, an aggressive form? And a submissive form obviously from the smaller shadow—Massie.

Then before Derrick could comprehend what had happened, Kendra's silhouette stormed off, out of view.

Derrick was agape, his jaw dropped, his eyes still on Massie's stilled shadow. Her figure was smaller than he last recalled, but all the same, she seemed pretty to Derrick.

Cam poked Derrick, his eyes never leaving that window. "W-what did you see, man?"

"She hit her."

* * *

:::-:::

_**A.**_

"Hullo?" The raven haired girl answered her new cell-phone, her manicured hands scuttling across the keyboard she typed on.

"Alicia?" The other voice asked.

"Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you—I saw something. Something I think is out of the ordinary." He stuttered.

"What is it, D?" Concern.

"Just come over, now."

"I'll be there in 10."

* * *

:::-:::

_**D.**_

"Well, what Derrick?" She asked promptly as she marched into her room, dropped her purse on his couch and sitting herself comfortably in a swivel chair.

Derrick hesitated.

"Well?"

"She hit Massie…" He trailed, his eyes avoiding hers.

"What."

Derrick sighed and stared at the doorway, Claire's petite figure frozen. A deer caught in headlights.

"Kendra hit Massie?" Alicia's eyebrows scrunched her figure tensing with every passing second.

He nodded, his hands in pockets.

"Are you sure?" Alicia checked, her lips pursed, her hands on her hips, a disbelieving look coloring her beautiful face.

Then Derrick exploded. Snapped.

"Yes I'm sure Alicia! I know what I fucking saw, and I fucking saw Kendra hit her own daughter!"

Alicia shrank into the couch, as if he slapped her. Then she sniffled and sauntered out of the room, a tight line as her lips, her eyes narrowed.

"—Great job, dumb ass." Claire spat, her eyes watery.

Derrick was surprised to see his sister still here so he jumped than turned to her, anger building.

"Shut up Claire."

"You better apologize to Leesh if you want her forgiveness to help Mass…" Claire suggested, her cloudy eyes glancing nervously at Massie's house through the living room window—as if waiting for Kendra and Massie to have another brew.

"Right." He reluctantly replied, shooting one last nervous glance at Massie's house than trotted out of the house; hands still in pockets.

* * *

:::-:::

_**K.**_

"When?"

"We'll follow through with this plan…sometime next week. We need time to think through the pros and cons of this and make sure it's foolproof."

"Good point," she agreed, her ice blue eyes staring at the road.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Uh… well –stuffs hands in pockets—what do you think of this chapter? These reviews make me want to pee myself, hehe :P I'm sorry for the short chapter too, I have to do some stuff…

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_

_:::-:::_

_Oh guys, I'm sorry I can't do review replies this chapter. I'm sooo sorry! I have school tomorrow and poop, I have tons of stuff to do—if you have any questions or anything, please just PM me. Or email me at:_

_Gossipgrrl316aol(dot)com._

_Thanks!!

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	13. Chapter 13: when we meet again

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

* * *

**Chapter 13: **_when we meet again_

--:--

* * *

_Ke._

It really is the weirdest thing when something feels so _surreal_ even though you know for a given fact that is really happening. That when you feel like you were untouchable—if only for seconds—then everything comes crashing down upon you.

"I'm sorry, Miss Block. We'll keep trying," He promised. He promised to try and keep something that was soon ending—to keep going. "I promise."

Kendra sniffled, guilt surging through her quicker and quicker with every tear she shed that evening. She stroked her only daughter's hair, relishing the silence that the little white soundproof room provided. She appreciated the non-disturbances she always desired.

She finally received the time to apologize for every sin, and mistake she had ever committed in her forty-three years of life.

Because that's all she's ever wanted.

* * *

--:--

_D._

When Derrick heard the faint ring tone from his phone, he dashed for it; hoping it was his Block.

"Hullo?" He hurriedly answered, his knee bobbing as he waited for a response that took moments to be conjured.

"Derrick—we need to talk."

Then the dial tone.

He knew who it was—he didn't need a caller ID, or another person to tell him whose voice it was. He knew immediately whose it was: _his Block_.

* * *

--:--

_M._

She twiddled her fingers, laced her sweaty fingers together and then she'd unlace them as she waited anxiously. She paced in front of the wooden dock, and took deep calming breaths that didn't even work.

She heard footsteps behind her, _too soon_…

"Hey Block," Derrick called, trying to keep his voice from bubbling over with excitement. She just stared at him with foreign, tired eyes.

"Hi."

Crinkles formed on his face as he stared in bewilderment. "What's wrong, Block?"

She turned away from him, her body facing the water's body. She let him wait a little longer, wishing she didn't have to say this. That she didn't have to be dead-honest with the boy who taught her what she had completely forgotten about.

"I've got to tell you something." She hedged hesitantly. He didn't make her turn around, not yet.

"Okay, Block. Tell me." He encouraged, his happiness fading as quickly as it came. She didn't say anything though, keeping her lips pursed.

"Block…" His voice shook. It shook with apprehension, it bubbled with anxiety, and it crumpled with fear and impatience. "Tell me."

She slowly turned around.

The sun was setting then, the sun's last bits of rays slowly fading into the darkening sky. The various colors of orange, yellow, pink, and a little pinch of purple, were fading as the time ticked by.

"Derrick," she whispered. "I'm…sick."

He watched her lips move, not comprehending, really. No, not really.

"What?" He asked, his voice raising an octave.

She coughed a little, her eyes pinching up and blurry as she tried to lock eyes with him. "I'm sick." She repeated, her voice a little weaker than before.

He just looked at her, not really sure what to say. "I can take you home than," he said calmly after immeasurable moments. "Or I could take you to a doctor's to get you checked out." He offered, his eyes not reaching his peppy tone. He doesn't get it.

"No, not that type of sick," she impatiently sighed. He was as confused as he had ever been.

"I don't get it, then." He mumbled, looking at the fading light. So far, far away it seemed.

She looked down for a few seconds.

"_Tell me_." His voice cracked.

"I have," she took a deep well-needed breath, not looking into those eyes that she had dreamt of since she moved here. The once-so-haunted eyes that kept her pondering each night.

The eyes of the boy she had fallen in love with.

"I have **Glioma, **I had got it when I was ten, and, and," she was stuttering. Broken hearted just from looking at his bewildered orbs. "It went away for a few years, but I never got over it. I-It came back a 4 years ago; and I have stopped responding to all treatments. My doctor told me to just move on, and live as fully as I can, and to try and be happy." She rushed out, tears streaming down as she looked away; not strong enough to look into his angered eyes.

"The doctor said I have months left," she whispered brokenly, looking at the horizon. "I accept that." She added. "But then you come along," Massie looked up at the dark sky, trying to ask God why he punished her like this. "And everything changes. I took a vow of silence in anger, feeling as if God betrayed me, and I just shut down. I didn't want to let any one else in—because if I did," she swallowed hard. "Then I'd be breaking another person's heart by leaving soon. A temporary friend," she laughed bitterly.

"I didn't want to fall in love…"

He watched her eyes scan the wide open sea.

"I didn't want to hurt my mother."

He watched her run her hands through her hair.

"I didn't want to break your heart." She muttered as she looked at him with dark eyes.

He had no words let to say. What was there left to say when the girl _you love_, tells you that she's going to die within the next few months?

"I'm sorry." She whispered, leaning forward to press her lips softly to his, and stride away with tears running down her broken face.

* * *

--:--

_D._

Then, she was gone.

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:::-:::

**Review.

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**

Chapter notes: This story is coming to a wrap, really soon. Because I really am running out of ideas for this story. I apologize for not being on for _so _long and not even telling you guys. But I'm back for now, so thanks for all the people who stuck with my hazy stories.

**T**hanks,

-another moment gone- 


	14. Chapter 14: time to say goodbye

C o t r a v e n i n g S i l e n c e

* * *

**Chapter 14: **_time to say goodbye

* * *

_

--:--

D.

Three months passed since that day on the dock, and I still can't even believe I hadn't seen it coming. When I first allowed myself to analyze what happened, a few tears slipped out, but now that months have passed—I've been coming to terms with myself.

"Derrick?" Claire's voice called. I lifted myself off of my bed to find her standing in the doorway with a neutral expression plastered on her face.

"Hmph?"

She looked at her hands for a moment. "Let's take a walk."

Not that I really had much of a choice, I slipped on some tennis shoes and headed for the door to see my sister awaiting my presence with an patient sad smile on her face.

"What?" I asked out of curiosity.

"You'll see," she mumbled as she headed on her heel down the road without another word. I followed her without another protest.

We walked in silence for immeasurable moments and I honestly forgot how much I missed my sister's presence.

"So, how have you been?" I questioned awkwardly, trying to keep up with her quick pace.

She kept walking, not offering much of a response.

I looked at the bitter sky for a moment, exhaling out of annoyance, and followed her footsteps—not really knowing where I was going, and what was in store for me within the following minutes.

We walked for minutes down that familiar road, silence wrapping its usual blanket around us. I could just _smell _the upcoming rain that was just waiting to be let out.

"I've been okay." She answered quietly, not offering to turn around. I was still a few paces behind her. "But I'm sure there's been happier times for me." She added. "It'll get better, I know it will."

I couldn't don't think I could even open my mouth to respond.

"I believe it will," she murmured, stuffing her hands into her coat pockets.

We walked and I had been so dazed and bewildered, I hadn't even realized whose house I was approaching.

* * *

--:--

_M._

"Mass, you've got visitors." Kendra noted.

Massie didn't stir. "Great."

"They want to talk to you," Kendra insisted quietly; already defeated.

They were waiting.

Waiting for something that they knew was coming.

And their hope was fading.

* * *

--:--

_C._

"No Claire—I can't do it." He said sternly. She looked at him in pure disappointment.

"Do you honestly expect her to love you back when you can't even face her?"

He looked away from her; they were standing in front of the Block's mansion; and Derrick was refusing bitterly to not go in. He couldn't; he _wouldn't_.

Claire sighed, running a hand through her long locks, tired as always. "Listen D," she began musically. "I know you don't think you can accept that she doesn't have much longer—but just make her the happiest she can even _be_. You really changed her," Claire bit her lip, looking away as she did. "And you don't even realize you did. Because she changed you too."

He shook his head before she could even finish her 3rd sentence. "You have no idea what I'm going through," he told her coldly. She snapped her head up from where she was previously looking, fire was blazing in her usually warm Tiffany Blue Robin egg-colored eyes.

"_Shut up, _Derrick. _You _can be so selfish when you're unhappy," Claire snapped angrily. She took a deep breath. "I understand that you're very unhappy—beyond words—but she's my friend too, okay? And I feel some degree of pain too, whether you can comprehend that, alright?"

It was his turn to look away. He felt rain begin to pitter down and about.

He stared up at the sky, loving that familiar scent of rain, and the gentle drops of dew landing upon his tear-stricken face. He had never felt such raw emotions before, and it was tearing him apart with every passing second that he knew the truth.

He hated how his Block had lied to him for so long it seemed. How she didn't even how the strength to stop this before it even occurred. _Ah,_ but she had attempted to stop it.

He knew deep, deep down that she _had _insisted not to even note that he was there. But that was the huge dilemma—they both felt it. They felt what was considered such a lie from many, what was so deep and true that it hurt when it ended. How it was often a never-ever lasting emotion.

"_It's the like the wind—I can't see it, but I can feel it." _He bitterly quoted the line from **A Walk To Remember **–it was her favorite movie he realized.

His life seemed so much like that movie plotline, and it hurt him because he knew the ending himself. In the end, poor Jamie Sullivan, didn't even stand a chance against the cruelty that life had to offer grievingly, so.

He hated this truth.

He did, he did.

* * *

::-::

_M._

"Talk to me, Derrick. I need to know what you're thinking," she begged, her eyes wide like a doe's. "I _need to know," _She pleaded desperately. "Before it's too late."

* * *

--:--

_**Review.**_

_**-another moment gone- **_


	15. Chapter 15: sit back and dream

C o n t r a v e n i n g . S i l e n c e

**Chapter 15: **_sit back and dream_

* * *

--:--

D.

"What do you want me to say?" His cold voice rang through her ears. She looked away, glassy amber eyes searching for a place better than this.

"Anything."

He forced himself to look at the small girl next to him; the thick sweater masked the bones and brittleness that the cancer left her body in. She was moving along the line, and he couldn't do a single thing to stop it.

"What's there to say?" Flat with defeat, she tried not to allow herself to look any deeper into this entire situation.

"Everything and nothing."

He swirled around to her, ignoring the rain as it splashed them. His eyes were unreadable and his lips were trembling.

"Are you serious Massie? Do you have _any_ idea what the hell is going on now? You're _dying_." His voice wavered as he shook his head, trying to read her eyes. The rain made it difficult to see her clearly.

"You don't know what you're saying." Massie replied quietly, her eyes glaring right into his challenging orbs.

"The hell I don't," he growled, a racking anger taking over all the sorrow that seemed to flood his entire body without warning.

"God Mass, of _course_ I know what I'm talking about. You're going to be—"

"Dead." Massie filled in flatly. Derrick couldn't help himself—he flinched at the word.

"—soon, and, and I will be left to pick up the pieces—and I just can't _do that_."

Massie stared at her feet, swollen eyes and puffed lips. She lifted her head and took a deep breath.

"I've known I was going to die for years, Derrick," she said calmly, "I've had time to accept that given fact; and I'm so selfish for thinking that you and I wouldn't mean a thing."

The moment she saw him—the moment he saw her—the moment she knew it was more than it should've been—the moment he realized he cared more than anything else in his world—the moment the moon and the stars aligned—the moment the tears slid down both of their faces.

The moment he kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

The moment she knew deep down—she wouldn't survive to her next birthday.

--

"Here's a note," she handed him a crumpled lined piece of paper that must've been crinkled for quite a while. She was in the hospital, having fainted at home. She had various blood transfusions and uncountable doctors telling her she's nearing the end of the line.

She's lost so much weight you could see the outline of her entire bone structure.

And through the entire time, in between her surgeries, and transfusions, and scary stuff—he'd simply stroke her hair or twiddle her fingers with a calm face masked.

"I love you." She whispered quietly to him, a smile elating her thin face. He looked at her like she was the orbit that kept sun and the moon and stars all in place—and that was probably true.

He swallowed hard. "Love you too, Block."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "But get some sleep."

She nodded, yawned, and rolled on the uncomfortable cot in the white hospital room.

He watched her as she struggled to breathe, he watched as her small figure took shortened breaths, and he watched her as she took every breath that led her to the next and final step.

And he didn't do a damn thing.

"But one more thing," she mumbled sleepily.

"Mhm?"

"Thanks for giving me my voice back."

* * *

--

Review if you think I deserve it [which I don't…]

I'm so so so sorry for leaving all of you readers hanging by the edge. I am so sorry also for not updating this for tons and tons of months.

I have loved each and every one of these reviews and each and every one of you reviewers.

The next chapter is the last chapter I think.

I'd like to shout out the fact—I just noticed—that I have been spelling Contravening wrong on my titles; BAHAHHAA. Oops. (:

Review pretty pretty please?

As always,

-another moment gone-


	16. Chapter 16: running out of air

C o n t r a v e n i n g . S i l e n c e

**Chapter 16: **_running out of air_

* * *

--:--

M.

My days were being counted, shortened and nearing the cut. I was walking a fine line that was invisible to the naked eye. I was nothing but a creation that was meant to walk the earth for short years and depart in peace.

I wasn't blind enough to see the pain that struck Derrick. I could see it took him every ounce in his body not to just book it out of pure insane fear of the unknown.

So when I took a purple pen, and a lined piece of paper, everything fell into place.

-

* * *

D.

She died the following week. And it was sick to know she knew she wouldn't even see her next birthday; never.

I was far too angry to even think about her letter.

Her funeral had so many people, it was breathtaking.

But like everything else—people moved on.

But years later as I pursued my second year in college, I slipped out that folded crinkled note and quietly sat. The stars enveloped me as did my thoughts and I knew after the night of constant thinking, that it was time to read this letter that has been in my pocket for years.

_D,_

_There's a lot you don't know about me. The scars on my back, the kind of secrets if I told anyone—they'd never look at me the same way. I hate cheesy romantic cliché notes when the girl is about to die and she writes an essay to to her true love about the first time she saw him and just KNEW he was the one._

_To be honest, I'd rather not talk about my death or my past. Because whenever you choose to read this, I won't be alive anymore. Seems kinda bitter huh?_

_I'll keep it short and to the point, love, okay?_

_You're a miracle. _

_My miracle. _

_You're an angel._

_My angel._

_The sun that kept me warm in the icy winter,_

_The stars that lit the nighttime sky in the midst of darkness._

_You're everything._

_My everything._

_[and all that other cheesy crappy stuff.]_

_So I don't want you to take my death hard, or cry your eyes out because your tears are wasteful because I'm always watching over you. [And you're supposed to be a mean.(:]_

_You gave me my voice back,_

_You taught me love, _

_You kept me safe--_

_and now it's my turn to return the favor baby._

_Whenever you feel scared and lonely, just open your window and let the breeze drift in and you'll feel me there._

_Because like I said:_

"_It's like the wind, you can't see it, but you feel it."_

_I'll see you soon my love._

_Thank you for everything._

_PS: sorry for the cheesy letter._

_I love you—forever and always my angel,_

_M._

Death is challenging. It's a monster that separates two souls and interlocks them. It ends forevers and always; it destroys some of the remaining souls that are left to pick up the scattered tiny pieces.

But death's all the same:

The beginning of a bittersweet ending that contravenes the left over silence.

–

* * *

The end.


End file.
